What If
by WhatIfThingsWereDifferent
Summary: What if he wanted different things and she went on with her life as if he never existed...
1. Chapter 1

I slowly turn the key unlocking the door to the place I once called home

I step inside breathing in the familiar scent of those who once loved me

Those who I still love…

I take the stairs one at a time being careful not to make a sound

Once I reach the top of the stairs I take a left

I can see the light from the television radiating from under our bedroom door

I reach the door and carefully turn the knob making sure to not make a sound

And there they are. My life…

She is turned on her side with Masen snuggled up behind her

They have somehow kicked the covers off throughout the night

I take a step into the room and pause

My hand coming to rest on my chest as I try to hold in the emotions

Bella and Masen aren't alone. He's there.

I close my eyes to make sure I'm not dreaming

I open my eyes and realize I am no longer the only person awake.

Bella's staring right at me.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't move. I don't breathe. I stare. She stares. You can tell she is trying to figure out what is going on.

'Edward?'

I don't move. I don't breathe. I stare. She stares.

She slowly lifts her pointer finger to her mouth silencing me.

She slowly sits up and turns to her side planting her feet on the ground.

I don't move. I don't breathe. Masen stirs quickly snapping me out of my trance.

I haven't seen him in over a year.

He looks so different. His face has gotten fuller and his hair has gotten longer.

He no longer looks like a baby. He is no longer a baby. I have missed so much.

The man laying to the right of Masen proves that.

I feel a hand on my chest pulling my attention back to the woman who owns my heart.

She whispers, 'Edward, what are you doing here?'

I try to open my mouth to convey to her how I am feeling. Why I am back. Why I want to be back.

She grabs my hand pulling me from our bedroom slowly closing the door behind her.

Making sure not to make a sound.

We walk down the hallway heading to Masen's bedroom. I haven't been here in so long.

The baby bed has been replaced with a toddler bed. The stuffed animals are put away.

I have missed so much. So so much.

Before I have a chance to voice my thoughts Bella interrupts me,.

'Edward you need to leave, you chose not to be here. You chose not to be in our lives'

'Who is he?'

She sighs, 'His name is Tanner'

'How long was my side of the bed cold before you moved him in Bella'

We stare at each other. I know this face. She is done.

'Get out'

'No'

'You chose to leave. I chose to live. Get out of my house.'

'Our house'

Before I have a chance to react she swipes my key out of my hand.

'You didn't want this to be your house Edward. Masen doesn't even know you'

'He will get to know me. I have to know him Bella'

'You didn't want us. Tanner does. It's that simple. Goodbye Edward'

She turned away from me. Walking back toward her life. The life I didn't want.

The life I would do anything to get back.

I walked down the stairs. Careful to not make a sound.


	3. Chapter 3

I sit in my car staring at our house. 'Their' house.

I stare and stare and stare and before I know it. It's morning.

The sprinklers shoot up. Spraying the side of my car. Pulling me from my thoughts.

I realize that Bella could wake up at any moment. See me out here. Come to me.

That's what I want. I am not moving from this spot.

I see movement in the kitchen. I always said we needed thicker blinds.

Then a mop of light brown hair flies by the family room window. Heading toward the front door.

I suck in a breathe. It's him. It's Masen.

I see the door handle turn. I put my hand on the car door. Ready to jump out.

Then as quickly as the door opens. It shuts.

'Masen, don't you dare open that door'

I can hear him crying. Saying that there is someone outside.

'Masen, go wake up Daddy. Ask him to make you some cereal'

Daddy? Daddy? Daddy? Everything blurs together. I have tears in my eyes.

I see the door handle turn. Bella walks outside. She stares. I stare.

I shake my head. Causing the tears to spill over. He thinks Tanner is his father.

Bella doesn't make a sound. She knows what I'm thinking. She knows I heard.

She shakes her head yes before turning around and walking back into 'Their' house.


	4. Chapter 4

I started the car. Pulled out of the driveway.  
>Took a left and stopped at the stoplight.<p>

Where do I go? I have nowhere to go.  
>I have no one to blame but myself.<p>

I catch my reflection in the review mirror.  
>Eyes stained red from the tears. They've been red for the past year.<p>

What did I expect? Honestly. What did I expect...

To walk back into the place I'd been so quick to leave.  
>To see Bella waiting with open arms?<p>

I haven't spoken to her in over a year.  
>Not 1 phone call.<br>Not 1 email.  
>Not 1 text.<br>I missed his 1st birthday.

How could I ever expect her to forgive me?

I came back. I did the one thing I told her I'd never do.  
>I came back.<p>

I wanted her to see how much I missed her. Miss her.

How much I missed Masen. Miss him.

How much I missed our life together. Miss.

I made an awful mistake.  
>I told the one person who meant everything to me that I wasn't ready to be a father.<br>I wasn't ready for the responsibility.  
>I wasn't ready for them.<p>

One year later what have I learned?

They're not ready for me.

Not Now Not ever.


	5. Chapter 5

I rent a room at the only hotel in Forks.

It's cold and dingy. Nothing like my home. My old home.

I left Forks with a duffle bag. Clothes and Shoes. Nothing more. Nothing less.

I figured I could buy what I needed when I got to where I was going.

But I went nowhere. I went to Chicago and stayed in a hotel for a year.

I went to Chicago and all I thought about was Forks.

Bella. Masen. Bella. Masen.

I wrote them letters everyday. I never mailed them.

They are in my bag wrapped in a rubber band.

I told myself that when I saw her I would hand the letters over.

I would force them into her hand and tell her to read them because those words…mean everything.

But I didn't. I left them in the car. I am such a fool.

And I have no one to blame but myself.

I put my head in my hands. I breathe in deep and hold it.

And hold it…hold it…hold it…

I can feel the burn. That burn that aches when you are under water for too long.

Then I blow it out. Nothing has changed. I'm still here in this hotel room.

Alone.


	6. Chapter 6

Something is pulling me from my dream.

Away from my visions of rocking Mase Man to sleep.

Away from watching Bella stand in the doorway with a smile on her face.

I was lying to myself then. I was lying to them both.

I thought that if I could pretend to be happy.

Pretend to want to be there, then I would in fact want to be there.

But I had no emotion. No emotion for anything.

All I knew was that I loved Bella. I loved Mase. But I didn't love the responsibility.

I still remember when Bella told me she was pregnant.

All wide eyed and scared. I should have told her then.

I should have told her I didn't want this. I lived my life with no responsibility.

She knew this. SHE KNEW.

I walked out on her that day. I left her on the couch crying.

I had to think. I had to leave. And that is what I did.

I left. I left her for 6 months. I left her for the entire pregnancy.

This isn't the first time I left Bella. Which makes it worse.

She told me when I came to the hospital, the day Masen was born.

'If you leave again Edward…don't ever come back'

Which is what I promised her a year ago.

That I would never come back.

Now I'm back.


	7. Chapter 7

'Knock. Knock. Knock.'

Someone is at the door.

I clench my eyes as tight as I can, I don't want to wake up.

'Knock. Knock. Knock.'

I barely hear it.

'Edward'

Silence.

'Edward'

Am I still dreaming?

I fall back into slumber. I see Bella standing in the doorway. Smiling.

Her mouth is moving but there is no sound.

I look down. Masen is no longer in my arms. As fast as I look down. I look up.

Bella is no longer in the doorway. It's me. Alone.

'Edward' (knock. knock)

My eyes snap open.

I jump up. I feel dizzy.

My eyes scan the room. 'Knock'.

My hand reaches out on its own. Pulling me towards the door.

I don't check the peep hole. I already know who it is. What did I expect.

Pulling the door back. I come face to face with the one man I don't want to see. Ever.

We stare at each other. A full minute passes before he speaks.

'Hello Edward, I'm Tanner'


	8. Chapter 8

He sticks his hand out. I smirk and shake my head.

'What can I do for you Tanner. I assume you are here to threaten me in some shape or form'

He pulls his hand back. Crossing his arms.

I can see why Bella likes him. He looks absolutely nothing like me.

Blonde hair and blue eyes. Typical.

'I'm not here to threaten you. I'm here to meet you.'

'Well here I am. You met me. Goodnight Tanner'

I go to close the door but Tanner halts my movement.

'They are the two most important people in my world. I honestly have no idea how you could just leave them'

I don't say a word.

'I guess I wanted to meet the man who had a part in creating Masen because without him my life wouldn't be complete'

I don't say a word.

'Bella told me not to come here. She said you would be gone by morning but I don't think that is the case this time'

I don't say a word.

'Is it, Edward'

I don't say a word.

Tanner turns and walks away.


	9. Chapter 9

I watch Tanner walk to the end of the hallway.

He takes a right. I hear the door open. Close.

I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding.

I can feel my hands shaking. My body is hot.

I slam the door and fall to the ground.

'What are you doing Edward'

I close my eyes.

Breathe In. Breathe Out. At least that is what my therapist told me to do.

What a joke.

I am a joke.

I jump up off the ground heading to the bedside table.

Where are my keys. Where are my keys.

They must have fallen to the floor after my destruction last night.

I grab them and head to the door. Swinging it open and shutting it behind me.

I don't bother locking it. There is nothing important in there.

Anything that means something to me is 5 miles away.

Inside a house that I am no longer welcome.


	10. Chapter 10

I drive by the house.

It's almost midnight.

All of the lights are out. Except one.

I know which room it is without even thinking.

Bella's awake.

I pull up to the curb on the other side of the street.

I put the car in park. Take my seatbelt off. Reach for the handle.

Before I have time to react my side door is being pulled open.

Time stops. We stare at each other. She knows. She knew I would come.

'Edward'

'Hey, Bella'

She sighs and sits down in the passenger seat. Buckles her seatbelt. Looks over.

'Lets go'

I put the car in gear and drive off.


	11. Chapter 11

Silence fills the air.

Neither one of us says a word.

Something as simple as talking has turned into a nightmare for us.

I keep glancing at her from the corner of my eye.

She does the same.

She sighs and turns her head to the window.

Wringing her hands in her lap, conveniently covering her ring finger.

She can't be.

No, she can't be.

It's only been a year.

'Edward'

My eyes snap to her face.

'Watch The Road'


	12. Chapter 12

I stare straight ahead.

Passing tree after tree.

Heading to the one place that will always be ours.

No matter what.

I slow down. The turn is coming up.

We head down the dirt road.

Our bodies shaking from the rough terrain.

I reach the end of the road. Park. Turn the lights off.

Our pond looks so calm right now.

I can barely see the ripples in the water.

Heaving breathing.

The windows start fogging up.

I open my mouth. Nothing comes out.

I try again.

'Bella. Please'


	13. Chapter 13

'No Edward. Just No'

She opens the door and takes off running toward the water.

I stay in the car and watch her.

She grabs the bottom of her shirt pulling it over her head.

Still running toward the water.

I sit and watch. With each step she is getting further away.

Further away from me.

I swing my door open and take off after her.

I start gaining speed and see her standing at the edge of the water.

I slow down once I am a few feet behind her.

I can tell she is breathing heavy. Breathe In. Breathe Out.

I take a step toward her. Putting my hands out in front of me.

Just one touch. That's all I want.

She feels my presence because she takes one step forward. Just out of reach.

Always out of reach. My reach.

She breathes in deeply. Takes a peek over her left shoulder.

Her hands go to the button on her jeans.

We both inhale.

Zipper.

Jeans on the ground.

I can hear myself swallow. Down. Down. Down.

'You Coming?'


	14. Chapter 14

Before I realize what I am doing. Before I realize how bad this situation is.

I start toeing off my shoes and jeans.

My shirt already gone.

Bella takes a step into the water. Reaches behind her back.

Tosses her bra.

She disappears under the water. Swimming to the center.

Stands with her back to me. Turn around. Turn around.

I swim toward her.

This time I grab her around the waist. Pulling her toward my chest.

She tenses up. Exhales.

'Just get it over with so you can leave again'

My body breaks out in goosebumps.

I try to turn her around so I can look into her eyes.

She refuses.

'Bella. What are you talking about.'

'I just want you to leave Edward. You always do this. You show up every time my life starts getting back to normal'

'Bel-'

'Just shut up and fuck me. Get it out of your system and then head back to where you have been for the past year.'

I try to compose myself.

'I'm not going anywhere'

She laughs. She keeps laughing.

Then turns to look at me. Tears streaming down her face.

'That's the problem Edward. I have no idea who you are'


	15. Chapter 15

I don't say a word. I have nothing to say.

It's true.

Bella starts laughing. Huge tears pouring down her face.

'Isn't it funny Edward'

I open my mouth. She cuts me off.

'We have a child together. A CHILD and I still know nothing about you.'

I hang my head

'I will tell you anything you want to know Bella. Anything'

'Too late. I'm done. I'm so done. Get out of my life. Get out of Masen's life'

'I can't do that'

'Well, that's funny because you haven't been in his life anyways. Correction, you never wanted to be in his life.'

I can't keep doing this. We are going around in circles. I can feel myself fixing to lash out. I don't want that.

'I STAYED BELLA. I stayed until I couldn't handle it anymore. He was mine for 6 months. SCREW THAT. He IS mine for the rest of his life. Nothing you say or do will change that'

She smiles.

'I'm pretty sure I can say something that will change that'

I smirk.

'No you can't'

'You were gone for a year Edward. I met and fell in love with Tanner. I love Tanner. He loves us'

'Tanner doesn't mean shit to me Bella'

'I don't expect him to but he does mean something to Masen'

'Oh yah and what's that'

She smiles. I know that smile, it's the smile that will change everything.

'Tanner adopted him. He isn't yours anymore'


	16. Chapter 16

My entire body is shaking. The water around me moving.

'Who do you think you are. You can't do that Bella. He can't just adopt Masen. It doesn't work that way'

'Well I did and he can'

I move forward. Our noses touching.

Her eyes widen.

'What is wrong with you. Do you even hear yourself right now'

'He is my child Edward. I have to protect him'

I can't control my anger anymore. I grab her shoulders.

'PROTECT HIM FROM WHO? HIS FATHER'

She tries to wiggle out of my hold. I can tell I am scaring her.

'YOUR CHILD BELLA? HE IS MY CHILD TOO DAMN IT'

'NO! You gave up that right when you left us'

It's so quiet that I can hear my heartbeat in my ears. My vision gets blurry.

'It always comes back to this. It will always come back to this. Me leaving'

She brings her hand up and places it on top of mine.

'Let me go Edward'

I know this request means more than taking my hand off her shoulder.

I can't take anymore. I drop my head on her shoulder. The tears fall.

I feel like everything is slipping through my fingers. I react because I'm scared. I react because I don't know what else to do.

'I can't let you go Bella. Please don't make me.'

'You have to Edward. You have to let us go'

I lift my head. We stare into each others eyes. Defeated. We are both defeated.

I inhale. I have no other options. I react.

'Hire an attorney'

And I leave.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Disclaimer:** All Twilight names, places and characteristics belong to Stephenie Meyer. _

I walk back to the car. Picking up my clothes in the process.

I can see Bella in the water. She hasn't moved.

I open the drivers side door and get in.

I rest my head on the steering wheel. What the hell did I just do.

I basically just told her to be prepared.

She knows my family. She knows that if I take her to court she won't have a chance.

Edward Cullen. Silver spoon in his mouth since the day he was born.

My parents fell in love with Masen the moment they saw him.

When I left, Bella cut off all communication with them.

No phone calls. No emails. No text messages. No photos.

This is why my parents haven't spoken to me in over a year.

Just like I left Bella. They left me.

The passenger door opens.

She sits down. Faces the window'

'Take me home'


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: It all belongs to the lovely SM

'Bella'

'Take me home Edward.'

'Bella, please. I don't want it to be like this.'

She sighs. Her breath fogging up the window.

'Take me home'

'No'

'Take me home. I won't ask you again'

'No'

She reaches for the handle.

I'm too quick. Doors lock.

I can see her chest rising and falling.

Her eyes are closed.

I can't help myself. My hand reaches out on its own accord.

I can see her reflection in the window. Eyes on fire.

'Don't fucking touch me'

I don't listen.

My fingers barely brush against her arm.

Goosebumps.

She turns to look at me. No emotion.

My entire body is frozen.

She grabs my hand. Traces my ring finger.

She whispers.

'I always thought it would be us'

I fold my hand over hers.

'It will be baby. I promise it will be'

I feel her ring finger.

'No it won't Edward. No it won't'


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: SM owns it all

My hands start shaking.

She notices my reaction and tries to pull her hand back.

Good luck.

'Edward. Let go'

She tries again.

She looks up and gasps.

'You're hurting me'

I can imagine what my face looks like. A mixture of: Horror. Fright. Jealousy.

'Edward. Edward. Look at me'

I can't catch my breath. My eyes are searching. Trying to find the quickest escape.

I try to let go of her hand. I can't.

'How could you. HOW COULD YOU'

My entire body is shaking.

Emotions all over.

She doesn't respond. I loosen my grip on her hand.

She gazes up at me. Whispering.

'I've moved on'

'Sure you have Bella. Sure you have. You know you will never move on'

Fire in her eyes.

'Get over yourself. Grow up. Be a man. We keep going around in circles. I want nothing from you'

'Well, that's great because you take everything…EVERYTHING from me'

Silence.

'Why did you leave?'

'I told you why I left'

'No you gave me a piss poor excuse as to why you left. Oh poor Edward can't grow up or oh poor Edward is too overwhelmed. Why doesn't poor Edward go fuck himself'

She breaks out of my hold.

'Don't Bella. You have no idea what I've been through'

'You are exactly right, I don't. I have no idea what you have been through and to be quite honest I don't care. I tried to give myself to you. I tried to make a life with you. A family with you and you didn't want that.'

'I want it now'

'You want it now because it's convenient for you'

'That's...'

Her cell phone starts ringing effectively ending our conversation.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: SM owns it all

She reaches in her pocket. Pulls out her cell phone.

The screen lighting up her face.

*TANNER*

'Shit'

It Rings. Rings. Rings.

'Aren't you going to answer that?'

'And what do I say. Hey baby sorry I'm not home I'm with Edward. Yah that should go over great'

I swipe the phone out of her hands.

'Then I'll answer it. I slide the arrow'

She grabs the phone and presses END.

'What is wrong with you. Honestly Edward. This is my life'

'Well, it's my life too'

'NO it's not. When are you going to realize that? You have been gone for a year. Masen doesn't even know who you are. He thinks Tanner is his father.'

'Yah, well that's going to change.'

'Do you even hear yourself right now? That…that right there proves to me that you aren't doing this for me or Masen. You are doing it for yourself.'

'I never wanted to leave Bella. I just needed to clear my head'

'It took you an entire year to do that? A year that you lost with your son…you realize that don't you?'

'Yes.'

'He doesn't know you Edward. I do and I won't put him through the same shit you put me through.'

'I'm not going to leave again Bella. Aren't you listening to me?'

'Of course I am Edward. I've already heard it once before. This is the exact speech you gave me the day he was born'

She unlocks her cell. Creates a new text message and hits send.

10 seconds later.

Vibrate.

'Tanner is on his way'


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: SM owns it all.

'Why the hell did you just do that Bella'

'I told you to take me and you wouldn't listen'

'And therein lies your problem. You never listen'

She stares at me.

I try again. 'I wanted to talk to you'

'That's the problem! You aren't giving me any answers Edward! We keep going around in circles and I'm tired of it. I'm so tired of everything'

We sit in silence.

Her cell rings.

'Hey baby'

'Take the first dirt road you see and drive to the end''

She looks me in the eye.

'I love you too.'

She ends the call.

Big brown eyes staring. Waiting for me to say something.

'No one knows about this place but us Bella. This is our place.'

'This place...as you like to call it went away when you did'

Headlights appear.

'Goodbye Edward'

She reaches for the handle

I grab her wrist.

'You aren't going to get away from me that easy Bella. I'm going to fight for you'

'I've heard that before too Edward. Goodnight'

With that she exit's the car and shuts the door.


	22. Chapter 22

I blink and open.

Blink again and open.

One more time.

I hold my eyes close for a second more.

Open.

I stare at the door.

The door she just slammed shut.

To go back to Tanner.

To go back to my son.

Our son.

She didn't let me have my way.

She wouldn't listen.

She didn't waver.

Shit.

My eyes flick to the rear view mirror.

I can barely make out their silhouettes in his car.

I take note that her body is angled toward him.

He looks straight ahead.

Hands at 10 and 2.

I lean closer to the mirror.

I have his attention.

I wink.


	23. Chapter 23

DISCLAIMER: It all belongs to SM

I'm momentarily blinded from his headlights.

I'm sure it was unintentional.

He doesn't want to piss me off.

Slowly reversing from the narrow dirt road.

Never taking his eyes from mine.

I shake my head.

This is the game we are playing.

Oh, Tanner. You really have no idea.

I always win.

I know this.

Bella knows this.

You will soon find out.

My phone buzzes from the console.

Lighting up the interior of my car.

I don't recognize the number.

I open the text.

'Stay away from us Edward. I mean it'

Bella.

I respond back.

'I see you saved my number baby and in response to your request: no'

I wait.

I wait some more.

5 minutes pass and still no response.

I try again.

'Why do you keep pushing me away. He's my son Bella and I want to see him. I'm going to see him'

I wait.

I wait some more.

10 minutes pass since the first text and still no response.


	24. Chapter 24

DISCLAIMER: SM owns it.

My head is resting on the steering wheel.

Cell phone in my lap.

I am willing the damn thing to buzz.

Something. Just anything.

I turn the ignition.

Lift my head and put the car in reverse.

The ripples in the water catch my attention.

This place. Our place.

Our perfect place.

*flashback*

Edward. DON'T YOU DARE. Baby no!

I am in nothing but my boxers. Having pulled off my clothes in my haste to reach her.

She is fully dressed.

Hair and make-up perfect.

We just left the prom.

It's our Senior year.

I grab her around the waist and whisper in her ear.

'Come on baby girl. You can beg better than that, I know you can beg better than that.'

I can feel the goosebumps break out along her skin.

We were perfect. Everything was perfect.

*end flashback*

My phone buzzes.

'I am hiring an attorney first thing in the morning. Goodbye Edward'


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: SM owns it.

My entire body goes cold.

I slam my hands on the steering wheel.

Not enough.

I slam them again.

She can't do this.

She can't keep pushing me away.

I have to fix this.

Where do I go from here.

All of these thoughts are racing through my mind.

I don't respond.

What do I say?

What can I say?

I reach over to the glove compartment.

Rifling through all the shit that doesn't belong in there.

I reach the one thing that does.

It's a picture of Masen.

I remember the day I took this picture.

He had been so fussy.

He was getting his first tooth.

There was slobber all over his shirt.

He would only settle down when I held him.

He's reaching for me in the picture.

I feel like I'm standing back in that moment.

I capture the moment.

Put the camera down.

Pick up my baby boy.

The next day I left.


	26. Chapter 26

DISCLAIMER: SM OWNS IT ALL

*buzz*

*buzz*

My head flies up from the pillow.

It takes a moment to get my bearings.

I am back in my hotel room.

*buzz*

*buzz*

It's my cell.

I put it on the night stand before I passed out.

I reach for it.

Neglecting to check the caller ID.

'What'

'Edward Cullen'

'Yah'

'My name is Lisa. I am the assistant at Joneson Law Firm'

Of course she is.

'Can you please get to the point Lisa'

'Of course sir, I'm calling on behalf of our client Isabella Swan'

(Silence)

She really did it.

'Sir'

(Silence)

'Sir'

'What about her'

'I assume you know Isabella'

'Bella'

'Excuse me'

'Her name is Bella'

'Can you just answer the question'

'Yes, yes I know her'

'We need you to come into our office at your earliest convenience'

'And if I don't'

'Mr. Cullen, one way or another someone will get this information to you'

(click)


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: SM owns it.

Wait.

Silence.

I pull the phone back from my ear.

She hung up on me.

Without lifting my head, I drop my cell next to the bed.

Groaning into my pillow.

I feel like a 10 year old.

Kicking and screaming in the middle of a big bed.

Alone.

Always alone.

I hear my phone buzz, alerting me to a text message.

My nerves are on high alert.

Bella?

I toss my arm to the ground.

Reaching around for the phone.

Not Bella.

Dad.

'Where are you son?'

I blow out a big breath.

I drop the phone back to the ground.

I can't deal with that right now.

I neglect to respond.

I neglect to do anything.

I close my eyes and go back to sleep.


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: SM owns it.

I find myself sitting outside the house again.

My house.

Our house.

Their house.

It's 10am.

I assume Tanner won't be here.

I assume he works.

Who am I kidding, I don't work.

Honestly.

I have no idea why I'm here.

I just know I have to see him.

Big breath in.

Release.

I turn the car off.

Open the door.

Stand.

I don't take my eyes away from the front door.

20 steps.

Max.

Just put one foot in front of the other.

I can do this.

I have to do this.

I find myself walking to the door.

What's the worse that can happen?

She won't open the door.

I just answered my own question.

I lift my finger to the doorbell.

Everything feels in slow motion.

No sound.

Nothing.

It's at that moment I hear a car pull into the driveway.


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: SM owns it all

I turn my head to the right.

It's a blue SUV.

The back windows are tinted.

The front.

Are not.

Bella is staring at me with wide eyes.

I see her hand reach up to the gear shift.

I can read her thoughts from here.

She is leaving.

I take off in a sprint.

Reach for her door handle.

Yank.

Nothing.

Yank.

'Unlock the door Bella'

She shakes her head.

'Baby, unlock the door'

Nothing.

I slam my hands on the window.

She jumps.

I seethe.

'Open the door'

I'm staring.

She, however.

Is not.

'Look at me Bella'

Head down.

'Damn it, look at me'

Her foot is on the brake.

Car in reverse.

I can feel her foot falter on the pedal.

I have her here.

I have him here.

They are not going anywhere.

This time I tap my index finger.

Tap

Tap

Tap

I finally have her attention.

I smile.

Try again.

'Get out of the car baby'

Wide brown eyes.

'We both know I'll just follow you'


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: SM Owns It All.

*Thank you SO much for the amazing messages y'all have been sending me!

She blinks.

Blinks again.

I try the handle.

Locked.

I try again.

Her eyes flick to the door handle.

Then to me.

'He's asleep Edward. Please, please don't wake him up. It will scare him'

'Open the door Bella'

She unlocks the door.

Eyes still staring.

I pull the handle.

Open the door slowly.

All the way.

Our gazes never falter.

I step toward her.

Her legs unmoving behind the wheel.

I lean my torso over her body.

Careful not to touch her.

My breath hitches.

There he is.

Sound asleep.

Head tilted to the side in his carseat.

My heart accelerates.

He's perfect.

So I say it.

'He's perfect'


	31. Chapter 31

DISCLAIMER: SM owns it all.

'Yes, he is.'

I sigh.

She speaks.

Finally.

I look down at her.

Smile.

Intensity in her eyes.

Yearning in mine.

It may have been 5 seconds.

It may have been 5 minutes.

Neither of us said a word.

'Momma'

Her eyes widen.

My eyes snap to the little boy in the back seat.

He's looking right at me.

Hesitancy written all over his face.

Rubs his eyes.

'Momma'

His eyes flick to the rear view mirror.

I can see the tears beginning to form.

I am still hovering over Bella.

Careful not to touch her.

She jumps out of the front seat.

Opening the back door.

Masen turns his head.

Big toothy grin on his face.

Points at Bella.

Then points at me.

'It's Momma'

I grin.

My own tears forming in the corner of my eyes.

'You're right Mase, it's Momma'


	32. Chapter 32

DISCLAIMER: SM Owns it.

His toothy grin is contagious.

I can't stop smiling.

Turning my head to the right.

Bella is smiling too.

Not at me.

Of course.

But smiling none the less.

At him.

Our miracle. Our baby boy.

He reaches out for Bella.

His eyes never leaving mine.

Squeezing his little fingers back and forth.

'Do you want out little man'

'Momma. Momma. Momma'

She laughs.

Leaning in. She unhooks his car seat.

Pulling him out on her side.

His eyes never leaving mine.

I get out of the car.

Shut the door.

Smile still on my face.

I stand in front of my son.

First time in a year.

He doesn't know me.

Why would he.

His big brown eyes gazing into mine.

I know those eyes.

Bella doesn't say a word.

We stand there.

Enjoying the moment.

Then it happens.

That moment when everything changes.

That moment when you know everything is going to change.

Masen reaches his little arms out.

He reaches for me.


	33. Chapter 33

Disclaimer: SM Owns it.

We froze.

Bella and I.

Not Masen.

He was squirming.

Trying to get into my arms.

I look at Bella.

She started to turn away.

Effectively blocking him from me.

Not going to happen.

My arms went out on their own accord.

Halting her movements.

In my haste, I ended up grabbing his chubby little hand.

He giggled.

I smiled.

At that exact moment.

My entire world made sense.

For the first time in over year.

My life made sense.

I look to Bella again.

I could see the fear in her eyes.

She didn't want this.

I nodded my head.

Looking back to Masen.

'Hey little man. Do you want Daddy to hold you'

'Dada Dada'

Bella gasped

Pressing a kiss to his forehead

Whispering

'He's not your Daddy Mase'

Masen leaned toward me.

Arms out.

He wanted me.

I wanted him.

Pulling him from Bella's arm.

Something wet on my cheek.

Gazing into my son's eyes.

Holding him in my arms.

My world was calm.

Serene.

Perfect.


	34. Chapter 34

Disclaimer: SM Owns it all. For my peeps who review J THANKS LOVES!

Bella steps toward us.

Reaches her arms out.

I take a step back.

'Ok baby, tell Edward bye'

Wait.

What.

Masen doesn't listen to Bella.

He continues to stare at me.

Bella reaches for him.

Again.

I take a step back.

Again.

'Give him to me'

'No'

'Edward, give him to me now'

Masen turns to look at Bella.

She reaches for him.

Again.

He starts squirming in my arms.

Pulling on my shirt.

He puts his little head into the crook of my neck.

I realize what he's doing.

He doesn't want to leave me.

Masen doesn't want to leave me.

Yet, I was so quick to leave him.

I can feel wetness of my cheek.

Again.

Is it raining?

I reach my hand up.

Tears.

I have tears on my cheeks.


	35. Chapter 35

Disclaimer: SM Owns it all.

'Don't do this Bella'

She shakes her head.

Reaches her arms out.

Pulling on his little waist.

Trying to pull him away.

He starts squirming.

Fussing.

Pulling tighter on my shirt.

'Bella, stop'

'Don't tell me what to do Edward. Give me my son'

She starts pulling on him again.

He starts fussing.

Again.

'BELLA. Stop, you're scaring him'

'Edward'

'Bella he doesn't want to leave me'

She starts laughing. LOUD.

'That's rich coming from you'

We are making a scene.

In her neighborhood.

Outside our house.

Her house.

Their house.

This house.

I can feel tears on my neck.

Masen is whimpering in my arms.

He lifts his head.

Touches my cheek.

Wipes away my tears.

I wipe away his.


	36. Chapter 36

DISCLAIMER: SM Owns it all.

I smile.

To keep from crying.

His big brown eyes.

Captivating.

He smiles back.

Looks at Bella.

Smiles.

Lays his head on my shoulder.

She stares at him.

At me.

At us.

'Momma'

'Hey baby boy'

She waves.

He giggles.

Waves back.

Everything is so simple for them.

If I stayed.

Everything would be just as simple.

For me.

But I didn't.

I zone out.

Going back to that day.

The day I left.

The second time.

'You're leaving, aren't you'

'Yes'

'You asshole. You fucking asshole'

'Bel-'

'Don't. If you walk out that door Edward, don't come back'

Holding my duffle bag in my hand.

I turn the door handle.

Open the door.

Look over my shoulder.

Bella.

My son.

Asleep in her arms.

'I won't'

One foot in front of the other.

I leave.


	37. Chapter 37

DISCLAIMER: SM OWNS IT ALL

**(The chapter y'all have been waiting for, why he left)**

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

I jump back to the moment.

Masen is patting my face.

I left them both that day.

I left them because I couldn't handle the responsibility.

There is no great story here.

I wasn't cheating.

There was no one else.

There was never anyone else.

Only Bella.

It's only ever been Bella.

I didn't have a demanding job that took up all my time.

I didn't have parents who wanted me to be with someone else.

They loved Bella.

I loved Bella.

Everyone loved Bella.

There was no reason.

Other than my immaturity.

Immaturity that cost me my family.

Immaturity that cost me everything.

I have only ever thought about myself.

I knew this.

She knew this.

It took her 2 months to tell me she was pregnant.

She knew what my reaction would be.

She knew I would leave.

And I did.

When my Dad called and told me I had a healthy baby boy.

Everything changed.

I couldn't be away any longer.

I needed to be with them.

I packed my bags and headed to the hospital.

Everything was great for a while.

Then I left.

Again.

There wasn't a reason.

There has never been a reason.

I was immature.

Simple as that.

It is my fault.

Everything is my fault.


	38. Chapter 38

DISCLAIMER: SM Owns it all.

I come back to the moment.

Locking eyes with Bella.

She knows.

She knows I went back to that moment.

She lived it.

Just as much as I did.

I kiss Masen's cheek.

Handing him back to his Momma.

He sits perched on her hip.

Smiling at me.

'Juice JUICE'

I chuckle

'I guess he wants juice'

'Yah, it's close to his naptime'

Silence.

'Oh, ok well then'

I toss my hand toward the vicinity of my car.

I don't want to leave.

I don't want to walk away.

But I know I have to.

I have to for right now.

Not for long.

I'm not leaving.

Them.

Again.

One foot in front of the other.

'Edward'

'Yah'

'Do you want to come inside'

I don't say a word.

'I just thought you could play with Masen a bit more before he goes down for his nap'

I stare.

'Really? I would. I would love nothing more'

But.

Sometimes things don't go your way.

Sometimes people show up at the worst time.

Possible.

Or the best.

If it's coming from his point of view.


	39. Chapter 39

DISCLAIMER: SM owns it all.

Y'alls reviews are HILARIO!

My back is toward the car that has pulled into the driveway.

I don't have to turn around to know who it is.

Bella's face has gone white.

That part doesn't upset me.

What upset me is Masen's smile.

But it's not directed at me.

It's directed at the man behind me.

'Shit'

I don't say it.

Bella does.

I instinctively move my hand up to my temple.

Rub.

Her eyes flicker to mine.

I smile.

This is ok.

I belong here.

Yet.

So does he.

He belongs with them.

I don't.

I'm going to change that.

I look to Bella.

She is watching him the man behind me with cautious eyes.

He does something to cause Masen to giggle.

To make Bella smile.

She breathes out a sigh of relief.

She was worried.

And I realize.

She was never worried about me.

She was worried about him.

About his feelings.

Why am I still facing away.

I will my body to turn around.

So I do.

I come face to face with Tanner.

Perfect tailored suit.

Briefcase in hand.

All-American boy.

Everything that I am not.

He has the two most important things that make a man.

Stability

Loyalty.

Do I blame her.

No.

Do I like it.

No.

Say something.

'Hey man'

Nothing.

Not a word.

Here comes the shit storm.


	40. Chapter 40

DISCLAIMER: SM OWNS IT ALL

I drop my hand.

It's obvious he has no interest in being cordial.

He still hasn't said a word.

Looking past my shoulder he smiles.

'Da Da'

Giggles.

Fuck.

That hurts.

He walks around me.

I don't turn around.

I can't watch this part.

I already know what I'll see.

'Hey baby'

Kisses a cheek

Not sure whose

'Hey yourself'

That answers my question.

'Hey little man'

I hear rustling.

I assume he's holding my son.

'This is a nice surprise, what are you doing here'

'I forgot my Wallet this morning thought I'd come home at lunch and grab it and I'm glad I did'

Whispering.

Sighs.

'What's he doing here Bells'

'Can we not do this right now'

Another kiss.

'No, no you're right. Let's go inside'

A normal response.

A mature response.

It's my cue to leave.

Bracing myself.

I turn to face them.

The moment too personal.

Bella is wrapped in his arms.

Masen on his hip.

I can see the Tears in her eyes.

I'm causing this.

I'm confusing her.

Confusing them both.


	41. Chapter 41

SM OWNS IT ALL.

I give Bella a weak smile.

She gives me one back.

It's time for me to go.

Today.

At this moment.

Just for today.

I walk toward Masen.

His smile seems to get bigger.

The closer I get.

I don't look at Tanner.

I can't.

He's holding my son.

My son.

Who calls him.

Dad.

I reach my hand out to tickle his cheek.

'Bye Mase Man'

He lifts his little hand.

Showing me his 'bye bye'

Giggles.

This hurts.

He leans his head down on Tanner's shoulder.

Toothy grin still in place.

My eyes move from Tanner's shoulder.

To his neck.

To his face.

To his eyes.

I nod.

He nods.

It's his way of saying leave.

I look at Bella.

'Bye'

I turn to leave.


	42. Chapter 42

SM OWNS IT ALL.

Lovin' the reviews :)

I walk with my head down.

Back to my car.

It's sad.

Sad that I feel as though today was a good day.

I held my son for what...

5 minutes.

But.

It was 5 minutes longer than I've held him in over a year.

I honestly have no idea.

No idea.

How she can look at him and not think of me.

He is a cookie cutter replica of myself.

Anyone who knows me.

Who knows Bella.

Who knows our history.

Knows.

He is my son.

Not his.

Tanner.

Think Edward.

Think.

Do I know him?

How did he just appear in their lives.

It's only been a little over a year.

He has literally stepped in and taken everything that was once mine.

Everything that is mine.

He doesn't look familiar.

Think.

Think.

She didn't have any guy friends.

She went to school.

She went to work.

She came home.

Nothing.

Unless.

No. No. No.

Shit.

I remember.


	43. Chapter 43

SM OWNS IT ALL.

Seriously, the reviews are awesome!

One of y'all made me laugh SO hard yesterday, the whole team Tanner team is beyond hilario!

The day I went to the hospital.

The day Masen was born.

I remember Bella being upset.

Her doctor throughout the pregnancy wasn't able to make it to the hospital in time.

Therefore, leaving my son in the hands of whichever Doctor was on call.

I didn't even know who her 'real' Doctor was at the time.

I didn't care as long as our son was healthy.

Which he was.

Healthy and beautiful.

But.

What I do remember is a Dr. Jones.

A Dr. T Jones.

That delivered my son.

My stomach drops.

It couldn't be.

Could it.

She married him.

She married the man who delivered our son.

Let me get this straight.

I left them.

Both of them.

And now she is with the man who literally gave my son life.

Who has been there the entire time.

The.

Entire.

Time.

He delivered my son.

Our son.

No.

Fucking.

Way.


	44. Chapter 44

SM OWNS IT ALL.

I grab my cell from my pocket.

Open a text box.

Two words.

'Really Bella'

Send.

Now I wait.

And wait.

5 minutes have past.

10

15

20

I've unintentionally become that person.

That person who sends a text and waits for the ding.

That doesn't happen.

Nothing.

It's been 30 minutes.

And I know.

I just know.

I'm right.

The average person checks their messages within two minutes.

And I know.

She always have her cell phone.

Always.

I must have fallen asleep as some point.

It's dark in my hotel room.

I'm still clutching my cell phone.

Nothing.

I head to the bathroom.

'DING'

I run.

Run.

To my phone.

Bella.

Pushing the arrow aside.

I type in my passcode.

One word.

Hours later.

At this point.

Why did she even text back?

'Yes'

And I know.

At that moment.

That she knew what my question meant.

And now.

I know.

I'm right.


	45. Chapter 45

SM OWNS IT ALL.

I want answers.

I need answers.

I will get my answers.

'Tell me everything and don't wait hours between texts. You aren't fooling anyone, least of all me'

Send.

5 minutes.

'Bella, I know you are staring at your phone. Stop playing games'

Send.

DING

'I don't have to tell you anything Edward but if you must know how Tanner and I became well acquainted then sure, I'll give you the details'

My hands are shaking.

I almost drop my phone.

'Fuck You'

Yah.

That probably wasn't the best route to go.

Really Cullen.

Really.

DING

'No thanks. Tanner works me just right, which so happens to be the reason why it took me hours to finally text you back earlier'

I stare.

Stare some more.

I'm about to go nuts.

She knows what she's doing.

She bating me.

And it's working.

'Oh, really?'

DING

'Yes'

'Hmmm interesting because if I remember correctly when we fucked you wouldn't be able to use your fingers seeing as you'd be passed out…on top of me or under me but what can I say, not all of us have my skills nor my dick'

DING

That was quick.

'At least you got the last word right'

Ok, I want my answers now.

'Well played'

'Well, I learned from the best Edward'

'So…he delivered Masen'

'Yes'

'And'

'And after you left us. Again. I took Masen in for his check up and ran into Tanner.'

'And'

'And when Tanner was checking my son. I realized that he was a happy person, a nice person. I wanted that in my life. In our life.'

'Our son, not my son.'

'Regardless, Tanner asked me for my number and things sort of just went from there. I'm happy ok, we're happy. I won't keep you from being in his life Edward but he doesn't know you. Tanner is the only father he as ever known. I don't want to confuse him. He's been through enough. You've put him through enough.'

'I've put you both through enough but I'm not just going to let some man have my son. It isn't going to happen Bella. I want him in my life. As my son. My son.'


	46. Chapter 46

SM OWNS IT ALL.

The reviews are awesome, keep em' coming!

DING

'I know'

That's all she says.

I know.

'I know…what Bella?'

'I know you want to be in his life. I'm not going to keep you out of it'

Wait. What?

'Why the change of heart'

'It wasn't my idea.'

'Then whose was it? The great Dr. Tanner?'

'Actually, yes. It was'

Well shit.

I don't respond.

5 minutes.

10 minutes.

DING

'I see you have nothing to say to that'

I don't respond.

5 minutes.

DING

'Give him a chance Edward, he may not like you but he loves Masen'

I don't respond.

DING

'And isn't Masen what it's all about anyways'

Of course she says something to piss me off.

'You know it's not only about Masen, Bella. You know that. I've told you that.'

'Well, if you want to be in his life then that's all it can be about. If you're doing this to somehow get me back then you need to just stop. It's Masen or nothing Edward.'

'And if I don't accept'

'Well then, I guess you didn't want to be in his life that bad after all'

She's serious right now.

It's Masen or nothing.

Masen or nothing.

Masen.

I have to have Masen.

'When can I see him?'

DING

'We're going to take Tanner to work in the morning and then go to the park by the hospital that he works at.'

I don't hesitate.

'I'll be there'

'I mean it Edward. Masen or nothing.'

'I know'

And with that.

I end our text battle.

Of many.

I'm sure.


	47. Chapter 47

Disclaimer: SM owns it all.

Holy toledo, FF was a big ole' fail last week…intentionally waited for the 'alerts' to be working correctly before I started posting again as I didn't want my faithful readers to keep checking manually…OH technology!

On with the show :)

I stare at the ceiling.

Turn my head to the right.

2:06

AM.

I need to be up in 6 hours.

I can't sleep.

I don't know if I've actually slept.

An entire night.

In the past year.

Tossing and turning.

I close my eyes

Seeing his face behind my eyelids.

Masen.

That's when I realize.

My lack of sleep for the past year.

Has always been about leaving him.

Them.

Now.

My lack of sleep is because I get to see him soon.

Get to see them.

Soon.

This is my second chance.

She is giving me a second chance.

NOT.

A second chance with her.

BUT.

With my son.

I think back to our earlier conversation.

I miss her.

I miss everything about her.

One minute.

Her feisty attitude.

The next.

Her innocence.

This relationship we are starting is for Masen or nothing.

Masen or nothing.

I choose Masen.

But.

I choose her too.

I roll over onto my stomach.

Smile on my face.

I'll win.

I always win.

She'll give into me.

I just know it.


	48. Chapter 48

Disclaimer: SM OWNS IT ALL

Um…this bonus chapter is for those who are telling peeps about my story! Seriously…my inbox has been blowing up all day with reviews and alert and faves and OMFG…just WOW and thank you and WOW!

My alarm goes off at 8am.

Groaning.

I roll over.

From my stomach to my back.

Reaching for my cell in the process.

Snooze.

I go to put my phone down and stop.

Notice a text.

Sliding the screen unlocked.

BELLA.

'Hey'

Sent at 6:07am

What the fuck.

I text back.

'Hey'

Immediately.

'Are you coming today'

I groan.

Again.

'I told you I was Bella'

'Yah. I know but given your track record I didn't want to assume'

'Bella, I told you I was in this. With you. With Masen. I'm not leaving'

'Again. You're not leaving again'

Big breath in.

'I really don't want to get into this. I'm coming, I will see you in an hour'

'Why did it take you 2 hours to text me back?'

I blow out the breath I've been holding.

'Why does it matter Bella'

'Did you have company last night'

Wait. What. She thinks.

'This coming from the girl who waited hours to text me back. HOURS. Then went into detail about her sex life. Is this the same girl?'

'Forget it. Sorry I asked. We will see you at 9.'

Yah. This isn't going to end this way.

'No. Tell me why you want to know. Why do you care?'

Nothing.

'And if I did have company, why would it concern you?'

Nothing.

5 minutes.

DING

'It wouldn't. You're right. It's none of my business'

'That's not what I meant Bella and you know it. I want it to be your business'

'Well Edward. At one point it was but now it's not. I'm sorry I asked. Have to get Masen ready. See you in an hour'

I don't respond.

Have nothing to say.

She's right.


	49. Chapter 49

DISCLAIMER: SM OWNS IT ALL

I slowly pull into the lot next to the park.

Noticing Bella's car.

I pull up next to her.

She's waiting.

Patiently.

I put the car into park.

Bringing attention to myself.

Give a slight wave.

She grimaces.

Great.

I can see Masen in the backseat.

She opens her car door.

I do the same.

We get out.

Looking at each other hesitantly.

While reaching for the opposite doors of her vehicle.

Opening at the same time.

Look in.

Masen is grinning.

Ear to ear.

'Hey Mase Man'

He starts to clap.

Reaching his little arms out for me.

I look to Bella.

She nods.

I unhook the car seat.

Pulling him from the car.

It should be awkward.

Holding my son.

But.

It's not.

He sits on my hip.

Head turning from right to left.

Eyes scanning the area.

Trying to decide what he wants to do first.

He starts clapping again.

I hear laughter.

I turn.

Bella is behind me.

Grinning.

This may just be the start of a beautiful day.

I kiss the top of Masen's head.

And.

Head toward the park.


	50. Chapter 50

SM OWNS IT ALL.

CHAPTER 50...WOWSERS!

I walk to the bench closest to the jungle gym.

Take a seat.

Masen is already wiggling out of my arms.

Trying to get on the ground.

I look to Bella.

Making sure it's ok.

She smiles.

I put him down.

He takes off.

Heading right toward the slide.

Bella runs after him.

His giggles filling the air.

As he reaches the steps.

Turning his head to make sure we are watching.

He takes one step.

Then.

Two steps.

Then.

Three steps.

He gets to the top.

Which isn't high.

At all.

But to him.

It's scary.

As he starts to cry.

Bella starts to climb the stairs.

But.

I stop her.

I want to do this.

I may be a grown man.

But.

I want to be the hero.

Masen's hero.

For once.

I reach him.

Pushing his crazy hair away from his face.

I look into his eyes.

'What's wrong Mase, Da-…'

My breath hitches.

He doesn't know.

He doesn't know I'm his Daddy.

I try again.

Rubbing his back.

His cries shallow out.

'I've got you Mase'

He continues to stare at me.

I can't believe how we look alike.

He is my little man.

He's perfect.

He points his little finger to the slide.

'You want me to take you down the slide baby boy?'

He smiles.

The tears long forgotten.

He shakes his head up and down.

'Ok, let's go'

I pick him up.

Bringing his attention to Bella.

Who is waiting for us at the bottom of the slide.

We wave.

She smiles.

'Are you ready Mase Man?'

He giggles.

This day is perfect.

As we slide down the slide.

Together.


	51. Chapter 51

DISCLAIMER: SM Owns It All.

Masen is giggling the entire way down the slide.

We get to the bottom.

He points to the top.

Bella takes him this time.

I wait at the bottom.

Masen sees me and starts giggling.

Waving his hands all around.

She waves.

I smile.

We do this for the next hour.

Each taking turns.

Making our son happy.

Until Masen looks as though he could fall asleep at any moment.

'I think we are going to head out'

I knew this was coming.

But.

I don't want our day to end.

It's been perfect.

'Can I come over'

'Edw-'

'Before you say no, I only mentioned it because I really want to talk about Masen'

'What about him.'

'You know what I want to talk about Bella. I want to be in his life. We need to figure out how we are going to make that happen'

'Edw-'

'Stop it. He is going down for his nap. Tanner is at work. This is the best time'

I am using this situation to my advantage but it honestly is the best time.

'Ok'

'Ok, so I will follow you'

She shakes her head yes.

With that.

We walk back to our cars.

Please keep this day perfect.

Please.


	52. Chapter 52

SM OWNS IT ALL.

I follow Bella back to our house.

Shit.

Stop saying that.

Her house.

Their house.

That's another question.

I have.

If Tanner is so damn perfect.

Dr. Tanner.

With his big job.

Why in the hell is he still living in my house.

The house I pay for.

Don't get pissed off Edward.

BE the good guy.

For once.

She parks in the driveway.

I park on the street.

Hop out of the car and head their way.

Bella puts her finger to her mouth.

Effectively letting me know that he's fallen asleep.

I open the door.

Careful not to wake him.

He rests his head on my shoulder.

Cuddling into my neck.

This feels right.

Bella is staring at us.

I don't see any emotion on her face.

I can't read her.

For once.

I can't read her.


	53. Chapter 53

SM OWNS IT ALL.

Seriously the reviews make me SMILE so much and to those sending my story into blogs/facebook/etc...HOLY TOLEDO! It's awesome! Y'all are seriously just...awesome! Onto the show...pretty sure this one will get yah ;)

Her eyes trained on Masen's face.

A tear trickles down her cheek.

She gasps.

Eyes going to mine.

Saying so much in that moment.

Yet.

We don't say anything.

We don't need to.

We both know.

In that moment.

We know.

I know.

That we will be ok.

That everything will be ok.

But I have to say it.

I have to.

'I'm sorry'

'I know Edward, I know'

'No Bella. I'm sorry. I'm rea-'

She cuts me off.

Grabs my hand.

I can still feel it.

Our emotion. Our passion. Our love.

'I know Edward'

I can feel them.

My own tears.

Trickle down my cheeks.

I can't believe this emotion.

Everything feels so perfect.

Yet.

There is a nagging feeling.

That makes me feel as though.

This was way.

Too.

Easy.


	54. Chapter 54

SM OWNS IT ALL.

OK! If you are telling peeps to read this story PLEASE let me know so I can say 'YOU ARE AWESOME' before I post another chappie! Seriously…I got over like 100 ONE HUNDRED author alerts and favorites this weekend! Once again, the reviews are awesome…the things y'all say are HILARIOUS!

I nod my head.

Toward the house.

Silently telling her to go inside.

She turns on her heel.

I follow.

I would follow her anywhere.

Now.

Now.

I would follow her anywhere.

Before.

Not so much.

But.

Now.

Now I would.

I can hear Masen snoring quietly on my shoulder.

I'm careful not to move too quick.

She gets to the front door.

Unlocks.

Walks inside.

I hesitate

She must notice.

'Come on Edward. Let's get inside'

She reaches for my hand.

Our fingers entwine.

Everything feels so easy.

Right now.

It feels so easy.

I step inside.

Notice my surroundings.

Everything looks different.

Well.

Looks different than it did in the middle of the night.

The colors on the wall.

The pictures on the wall.

The furniture.

The carpet.

Everything.

She's changed everything.

I let go of her hand.

Nodding my head toward Masen.

'Where should I put him down'

I can see the wheels turning in her head.

'Bella. Where?'

'Let's take him to his room'

We head toward the stairs.

Crossing the family room on our way.

I pause.

To peak inside.

And.

I see it.

Right there.

Hanging over the fireplace.

A photo.

A photo.

That used to be of us.

But. Not.

Anymore.

I can feel her eyes on my face.

Testing me.

Seeing if I will get upset.

Effectively throwing her rules out the window.

I turn.

Locking eyes with the woman I know.

Knew.

So well.

'Well, that hurts'


	55. Chapter 55

SM OWNS IT ALL!

Who do you think Tanner looks like? I envision him as Scott Speedman!

She opens her mouth.

It all comes out.

Her truth.

'Why. What did you expect.

For me to sit around and pine for you.

For my son to grow up without a father figure in his life.'

I can see the fire behind her eyes.

I lean toward her.

She leans back.

She's scared.

She should be.

I reach for her arm.

She yanks it back.

Hissing.

Quietly.

'Don't fucking touch me'

How has this happened?

We were fine.

5 minutes ago.

But.

This is what we do.

We piss each other off.

Both breathing hard.

Staring.

I crook my finger.

Giving her a look that says.

Don't fuck with me.

Again.

Telling her to come closer.

She rolls her eyes.

I smile.

The cocky smile.

She loves so much.

Masen sleeping in my arms.

I lean forward.

Her breath quickens.

Her chest rising and falling.

Quickly.

Whispering.

'You're telling me you allowed yourself to be with Tanner so that Masen would have a father figure in his life? Are you serious? Do you even love him Bella. Do you even love Tanner?'

No hesitation.

'Yes, I love him. So much'

I smirk.

Step back.

'I wonder if he knows about all of those texts you sent after I left you. I wonder if Dr. Tanner would be interested in those.'

Her eyes blaze.

She doesn't say a word.

This time it's her who steps closer.

Standing on her tiptoes.

Whispers in my ear.

'The first time you left or the second? Tell him. Show him. It doesn't matter. He knows everything. He won't play your games. Go fuck yourself Edward and get out of my house.'

She grabs Masen and heads up the stairs.

Well.

That went better than expected.


	56. Chapter 56

SM OWNS IT ALL.

Extra chapter today...Just because y'all are SO awesome!

I watch her walk away.

Up the stairs.

Masen still asleep on her shoulder.

I exhale.

Turn on my heel.

With the intent to leave.

But.

I stop.

Heading toward the photo.

I'm staring.

It's Masen's first birthday.

He's sitting in his high chair with Tanner on his right.

Bella on his left.

Masen has on a birthday hat.

Tilted to the side.

Probably cause by his little fingers.

There is cake everywhere.

All over.

His hat.

His face.

His hands.

His hair.

Everywhere.

His grin is so big.

He's so happy.

Bella and Tanner are staring at Masen.

Nothing but love in their eyes.

Bella has cake all over her cheek.

And.

If I didn't hate the photo so much.

I'd probably think it was perfect.

But.

I do.

Hate it.

Because.

It's not me.

On Masen's right.

It's him.

It's always him.


	57. Chapter 57

SM OWNS IT ALL.

This is my Tanner: .com/media/rm3434724352/nm0005454

Can you imagine ever leaving this man? Holy toledo…Edward is FINE but Tanner is 'Take a bite outta that' ;)

I don't know how long I stand there.

Staring at the photo.

Tanner's dimples are driving me fucking crazy.

Why is he smiling like that.

The entire thing annoys the shit out of me.

I can feel her.

Standing behind me.

I don't turn around.

I just keep staring at this damn photo.

'I told you to get the fuck out Edward'

'Yah, you did but I didn't listen. I want answers Bella'

'What do you want to know'

I run my hand through my hair.

Sigh.

Turn around.

'Where do I start'

'How about from the beginning or I guess from the second time you left'

She smirks.

I sigh.

Again.

'Are you going to keep throwing this shit in my face Bella? I told you I was sorry.'

'Yah, well that's not good enough. Sorry isn't good enough. Not this time.'

I shake my head.

'Why do you still live here?'

'Excuse me?'

'Why do you still live in this house? In my house'

She starts laughing.

Laughing so hard she tips forward.

Righting herself.

'Your house? YOUR HOUSE?

Your father bought us this house.

It's not YOUR house.

Nothing has ever been YOURS Edward.

You never worked for anything in your life.

So.

Please ask me that question again'

I'm biting my lip.

I can't help the words.

That escape.

'Don't be a bitch Bella. You know what I mean'

She shakes her head.

A chuckle escaping her lips.

'I don't expect you to understand Edward.

But.

This is Masen's home.

It has nothing to do with you or Tanner or me.

It's about Masen.

And honestly.

I don't know how many times Tanner has asked me.

Begged me.

To let him move us out of this place.

To start over.

With him.

But.

I can't do that to Masen.

And.

Before you say anything.

Yes, yes I know.

He isn't even 2 years old.

But.

He needs stability in his life.

He has never had stability.'

She finishes.

Breathes in deep.

'Anymore questions'

I can hear the shake in her voice.

She swipes a tear from her cheek.

'No Bella. No more questions today'


	58. Chapter 58

SM OWNS IT ALL.

My Tanner looks like Scott Speedman!I got a lot of messages about the link not working!If you go to Google and copy/paste that link it should bring up the pic from his IMDB page. Let me know!

She doesn't look at me.

Her head down.

She turns to leave.

'Bell'

She stops.

'Don't call me that.'

I sigh.

Run my fingers through my hair.

'I'm sorry.'

'I told you. It's not enough. Not this time'

'I know. I know'

'Then STOP apologizing'

'I just want you to understand.'

'K'

Her back to me.

She hasn't turned around.

'I'm not leaving'

'K'

She isn't being a bitch.

She's just agreeing with me.

After a while.

I guess the promise.

Just doesn't matter.

Anymore.

I thought this would be easy.

So easy.

It's not.

It won't be.

I understand that now.

I finally understand it.

I walk toward her.

Reaching my arm out.

Her body like a stone.

Wrapping it around her waist.

She melts into me.

Sobs.

My whole body feels weighted down.

With fear.

'Bell'

'Stop calling me that. STOP calling me that. You don't get to call me that anymore'

'Bell. Bell. Bell.'

She tries to get out of my hold.

My arm is a vice grip.

'Please Edward'

'You will always be my Bell. You know that. YOU know that.'

She can't escape.

She gives up.

Lowering her head.

Giving in.

'I want you in his life Edward. Just not in mine'

Her words say it all.

My vision blurs.

Heart in my throat.

I feel sick.

It's hot.

Everywhere is hot.

My once vice grip.

Loosens.

She untangles herself.

Walks away.

Never once looking back.

I fall.


	59. Chapter 59

SM OWNS IT ALL

I'm sitting in my car.

Outside the house.

Again.

Wondering what went wrong.

How everything went wrong.

From the park.

To this moment.

I have no idea how long I've been sitting here.

It was daylight when I came out.

Now.

It's dark outside.

Headlights.

Pull into the driveway.

Tanner.

He doesn't know I'm here.

He wouldn't.

She didn't tell him.

I'm a secret.

My cars parked across the street.

I'm watching.

He steps out.

Reaches into the out his briefcase.

His movements are hurried.

He's ready to get inside.

To his family.

His family.

I feel sick.

Rolling down my window.

I watch.

He walks up the sidewalk.

Steps radiating confidence.

They should.

This is his.

Everything in that house.

Is his.

Hand reaching for the door

It swings open.

Catching him by surprise.

Bella's standing there.

Masen perched on her hip.

Their Smiles as big as the sun.

Welcome him home.

He walks inside the door.

Grabbing Bella around the her in for a kiss.

Masen is giggling.

Patting his face.

Seeking His attention.

Tanner smiles into Bella's lips.

Pulling Masen from her arms.

Lifting him into the air.

Giggling.

Pulling him back down.

Giggling.

Placing kisses all over his face.

Giggling.

Bella has her hand on Tanner's back.

He turns to look at her.

Love in his eyes.

Wraps one arm around her waist.

Pulls her further inside.

Shuts the door.


	60. Chapter 60

SM owns it all.

I stare at the door.

At a loss.

My thoughts scattered.

What should I do.

Should I knock.

Demand to see Bella.

Even though she kicked me out.

Hours ago.

Demand to see my son.

Even though he's happy.

Happy being held by his 'father'.

Fuck that.

I'm his father.

She can't do this.

I won't let her.

It's time to fight Edward.

Not for her.

But.

For Masen.

Fight for your son.

Listen to her.

For once.

Listen to her.

I start the car.

Put it into drive.

Foot on the gas.

Head to the hotel.

I need sleep.

But.

In the morning.

I'm hiring an attorney.

But.

First.

Pull my cell from my pocket.

I'm calling my father.


	61. Chapter 61

SM owns it all.

I pull into the hotel parking lot.

Unlock my cell.

Contacts.

D for Dad.

It rings.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

I get nervous.

What if he doesn't answer.

Then.

Someone picks up.

'Edward?'

Silence.

'Son, is that you'

Nothing.

I don't know what to say.

I assumed I'd call.

Words would come.

But.

They don't.

We sit in silence.

I can hear him breathing.

'Son'

I'm afraid to speak.

Afraid he'll say

'I told you so'

Or

'I'm disappointed in you'

Or

'You don't deserve them'

Both times I left.

He said that to me.

'You don't deserve them'

I didn't know then.

But.

I know now.

He was right.

'Edward. I know it's you. You don't have to talk but just know. I'm here. Your Mom and I are both here. For you. Whatever you need'

My skin tingles.

My ears ring.

Emotion taking over my entire body.

I let out a sob.

'It's ok son. We're here.'

I breathe in.

Wipe my eyes.

Clear my throat.

'You were right Dad. You are right. I don't deserve them.'

Silence.

He speaks.

'You're wrong son. Hearing you say this, proves to me that you do deserve them. Finally'


	62. Chapter 62

SM OWNS IT ALL.

I sit in silence.

Listening to him breathe on the other end.

Going over the words he spoke.

He isn't pushing me to talk.

He's waiting.

Waiting until I'm ready.

Finally.

I am.

Ready.

Ready to fight.

Ready to win.

'Dad' my voice trembles.

I can hear his breath hitch.

'Dad. I don't know what to do. She's married. She's married Dad'

He doesn't say anything.

Continues to sit in silence.

To listen.

'And Masen. Dad, Masen's perfect and she deserves all the credit. He doesn't even know who I am. His father. He doesn't even know'

My lungs start to burn.

I'm sweating.

I can't catch my breath.

'Edward'

I pull my phone away from my ear.

Confused.

His voice sounds distant.

'Edward'

I can hear myself breathing through my ear.

Louder.

Louder.

'EDWARD. Where are you son. ANSWER ME EDWARD'

I hear noises in the background.

He's moving around.

Door slam.

'Edward. Listen to me. Tell me where you are. I'm on my way.'

My vision starts to clear.

Hands stop shaking.

Breathing regulates.

I put my hand to my chest.

'I'm ok. I'm ok'

I can hear his relief through the phone.

'Are these panic attacks a reoccurrence'

Wait.

What.

Panic Attacks.

I just had a panic attack?

Shit.

It makes sense.

It all makes sense.

Now.

I answer.

'This is the second one. Since I've been back'

Next question.

'What causes you to react'

My answer is so simple.

One word.

One name.

'Bella'


	63. Chapter 63

SM OWNS IT ALL.

GOOD MORNING SWEET READERS!

Whisper.

'Bella'

'I'm sorry son, I didn't catch that.'

I clear my throat.

Try again.

'Bella. You asked what triggered my panic attacks and it's Bella'

I can hear the wheels turning in his head.

Going into Doctor mode.

'I see. Does she cause these directly or indirectly. Is it something she says that upsets you or is it something she does. Help me out here Edward'

He's asking too many questions.

I honestly have no idea.

It's not anything she does.

Particularly.

It's everything she does.

From the moment I lay eyes on her.

To the moment I leave.

My entire body is tense.

Overdrive.

When I'm away from her I worry.

When I'm with her I'm on high alert.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I answer.

'I don't know Dad. I feel like a loose canon whether I'm with her or not'

He's silent.

Stewing over my answer.

'I don't think it's her Edward. I think it's your bodies way of telling you to slow down. Stop worrying about everything. You're too spread out. Focus on one thing at a time. Which brings me to my next question. Not that I mind by any means but why did you call?'

I don't hesitate.

'I want to be in Masen's life. She says she won't keep him from me but I know she will. Maybe it won't be on purpose but she's married and Masen doesn't even know who I am. He thinks Tanner. Bella's husband is his father. Everything is screwed up so fucking screwed up.'

Drop my phone.

Grab my hair.

Pulling the ends.

Eyes blurring.

From the tears that are forming.

'Edward'

My eyes flicker to the phone.

On the ground.

'Edward. We'll figure this out. Together'

I nod my head.

Agreeing with his words.

'Let me make some calls. I love you son'

A tear runs down my cheek.

I hang up the phone.


	64. Chapter 64

SM owns it all.

I put my phone down.

He's going to make this better.

For me. His son.

And.

I've treated him so bad.

I left.

Him.

I ignored him.

And.

He's going to help me.

Get my son.

Back.

For me.

The one who left him.

I shake my head.

It falls forward.

Weighs a hundred pounds.

I need to shower.

I get up.

Walk into the bathroom.

Pull back the curtain.

Turn on the nozzle.

Water shoots out.

Cold.

Ice cold.

I don't even hesitate.

Undress.

Step inside.

The water hits my skin.

Takes my breath.

Away.

I feel numb.

It's welcomed.


	65. Chapter 65

SM OWNS IT ALL.

One of the ladies who has supported this story from the beginning (you know who you are) has nominated me for the iSparkle Awards. I got nominated for the 'Fresh Talent' award and you can check out all of the other brilliant nominees at: .com Voting begins April 27th…just thought you'd like to know and to (you know who you are) thank you again for nominating me and being not only such a sweet person but also just AWESOME! Also, thank you to each and everyone of you who review, alert and fave this lil' story of mine! Here's an extra chapter since I didn't update on Friday…this one may cause you to throw your computer/phone/whatever OUT THE WINDOW SO…hold on tight!

My body shivers.

I stand under the water.

Face up.

Cold water pounds on my face.

Like ice.

My lips are shaking.

My body.

Shaking.

For one moment.

I forget.

I forget everything.

For one moment.

But.

That's enough.

I lean forward.

Turn the shower off.

I heave.

Trying to catch my breath.

I reach for my towel.

It's not there.

I open up the curtain.

Step out.

One foot.

The other.

*DING*

My phone.

I already know who it is.

I can feel the tingles.

The tingles she gives me.

I can feel them.

Through the phone.

It's her.

Reaching for a clean towel.

Wrap it around my waist.

I walk into the bedroom.

New text message.

BELLA.

It's long.

Very long.

'I owe you an apology. I'm sorry for pushing you to say things just to make myself feel better. I'm sorry for making this complicated when it doesn't have to be and I'm sorry for pulling you into this strange circle I've created for myself but I'm not going to do it anymore. You mean too much to me to continue to play mind games with you. I want to start over. Can we start over?'

I read the text.

Read it again.

She keeps doing this.

All she does is play mind games.

Passive aggressive behavior at its best.

No.

I can't start over.

I don't want to start over.

I never wanted it to end in the first place.

I compose a text.

Three words.

They hurt to type.

But.

I have to do this.

If not for her.

Then for me.

For Masen.

'No. We can't'


	66. Chapter 66

SM OWNS IT ALL.

Here is the thing…I'm getting a lot of reviews from people saying, 'WHAT JUST HAPPENED?" and I love it…I do because I know I'm confusing the heck out of y'all but with that being said…I know what it's like to be crazy in love and to do stupid things that don't make sense because you feel like you are losing that person SO with that being said…this story will get A LOT MORE DRAMATIC before it ever gets better…hold on tight LOVIES!

She doesn't respond.

I didn't expect her to.

She knows.

She knows me.

She knows.

That once I put my mind to something.

I follow through.

She knows I'm in this.

For the long run.

For Masen.

I sigh.

Put my phone down.

Don't bother to set an alarm.

I have nowhere to go.

I think I fall asleep.

Before my head hits the pillow.

Knock

Knock

I sit up.

Look around.

What the hell?

Grab my phone

12:03

AM

Knock

Knock

Louder

I'm disoriented.

Pulling my tired body from the bed.

Walk to the door.

Slowly

Don't bother checking the peep hole.

Turn the knob.

Before its halfway open.

I'm being pushed backwards.

Arms wrapping around my waist.

Chestnut hair in the crook of my neck.

I keep my arms out.

Confused.

She looks up.

Am I dreaming?

'Thank you Edward'

Tears run down her face.

'Thank you for thinking about Masen'

Eyes pleading.

For something.

Anything.

I try.

To say something.

Anything.

But I don't.

My arms close around her.

I lay my head on top of hers.

Breathe into her hair.

Whisper.

'It was about time'

She pulls back.

Looks into my eyes.

Trying to find reason.

To believe me.

I guess she does.

Smiles.

'Don't yah think, Bella?'

Giggles into my chest.

'Yah, Edward. I do'

Tighten my arms.

Which are around her.

I breathe her in.

Once more.

Let go.

She smiles.

Puts her hand to my cheek.

Looks past me.

To the bed.

Shakes her head.

Eyes flicker back to mine.

'Goodnight Edward.'

'Night'

Then she leaves.


	67. Chapter 67

SM OWNS IT ALL.

I went to sleep that night.

Smile on my face.

Bella came.

Here.

To see me.

To thank me.

It was a start.

It may be a small start.

But.

It was a start.

I woke the next morning.

Sun shining through the thin curtains.

Groaning.

I roll over.

Face the clock.

On the nightstand.

9:03 am

I reach for my cell.

3 missed calls.

Dad.

Shit.

I sit up.

Hit redial.

He picks up on the first ring.

'Edward'

'Hey. Sorry. I just woke up'

'That's fine. I spoke with my attorney.'

I don't say a word.

He continues.

'He said he could help you, Edward.'

I let out the breath.

I didn't realize I was holding.

He can help me.

'Ok. What do I do? What's the next step'

'He wants to meet with you. Soon. As soon as possible'

I throw the covers off the bed.

Stand up.

Head toward my suitcase.

Start pulling out clothes.

Grab the first pair of jeans.

Shirt.

Socks.

Shoes.

I can find.

'Edward, can you meet soon'

I grab my keys.

'I'm leaving now just tell me where to go'

With that.

I walk toward the door.

Open it.

And.

Leave.


	68. Chapter 68

SM OWNS IT ALL

I'm sitting across from our family attorney.

I've known this man.

Practically my whole life.

He's been our not only our attorney.

But.

A family friend.

For years.

But.

Those cases.

Never had anything to do with me.

Until now.

'So, Edward. What can I help you with'

I chuckle.

Shake my head.

'At this point. What can you not help me with'

'Well, how about you start from the beginning'

So

I do.

I tell him about Bella getting pregnant

Me leaving

Masen being born

Me coming back

Me sticking around for 6 months

Leaving

Again

Coming

Back

Again

Bella being married

Tanner adopting my son

Being scared that I'll never be a part of his life

Bella telling me that I can be

By the time I'm done.

I'm sweating

And

My breaths are coming fast

He slides me a glass of water

Puts his hands together

And sits back in his chair

'Well. We definitely have our work cut out for us. This won't be easy. You've abandoned your child twice. Twice Edward. I'm on your side but you need to know going into this that it won't be easy'

I nod my head.

'I understand'

'We're going to upset quite a few people along the way. Are you prepared for that'

I nod.

Lift my eyes.

Holding his gaze.

'I'm ready to be in my sons life so yes. I'm prepared for that'

He smiles.

'Ok. Let's get started'


	69. Chapter 69

SM OWNS IT ALL

Please remember this is rated: drama/angst for a reason. If you don't want the 'pull at your heart, intense moments' then you should peace out now (because it's only going to get more dramatic) and a few of you already have and sent me the sweetest goodbye messages :) Kisses to all!

We've been at this for hours.

Back and forth.

What's my story.

What will make me look better.

I'm at a loss.

My attorneys at a loss.

Because

There's nothing that will make me look better

Nothing

'Let me get this straight. Bella said you can be in his life?'

'Yes'

He sighs

'Then what's the problem.'

I groan

'I already told you. She's married. She told me her husband Tanner adopted Masen. How does something like that even happen? I didn't relinquish my rights. My names on his fucking birth certificate'

I stand up

Start pacing the room

Gripping at my hair

'Edward.'

I look up.

Hold his gaze.

Wait for him to respond

'I have Masens birth certificate right here and all of his files. You know that right?'

Ok.

Why does that matter.

Why does having his files matter.

I widen my eyes

Throw out my arms

In a gesture

For him to continue

'Yes, your name is on the birth certificate as the father but also Masen has your last name'

I stare

What does this mean

So

I ask

'What does that mean'

'It means. Bella isn't telling you the truth'

Huh

'Truth about what exactly'

'Tanner can't adopt Masen, Edward. She was lying to you'


	70. Chapter 70

SM owns it all

Many of y'all have asked how they came to even know each other so I'm taking you back to that point. Also, you have no idea how awesome I felt receiving reviews that said, 'I voted for you in the Isparkle awards!' WOW JUST WOW and the reviews that said 'I'm in this thing for the long haul! Angst and all' XO

When I met Bella.

She had a boyfriend.

A serious boyfriend.

His name was Adam

I fucking hated Adam

But

This guy.

She was head over heels

In love

With this guy

But

He didn't deserve her

I could tell

The moment I met him

I could tell

He didn't deserve her

I hated him instantly

See

At the time

Bella

And

I

Worked together

On the school newspaper

So…

What did I do?

I pursued her

Of course

Knowing she had a boyfriend

Knowing she was happy

Knowing she was in love

But

He wasn't the right guy

He wasn't me

So

I went after her

Because

I always go after

The things I want


	71. Chapter 71

You can thank one of the reviewers for the lil' chapter below and since you asked for it...here it is OH and this will be the ONLY time we hear from Miss Bella:

_** Bella's Point of View **_

Imagine yourself in a room full of people.

Now close your eyes.

Breathe in your surroundings.

Hold it in.

Exhale.

Open your eyes.

Nothing has changed.

Everyone is still talking.

Mingling.

Enjoying themselves.

Except yourself

Or me

In this case

That's how I felt

Before

I met Edward

It was like

I was invisible

Sure

I had Friends

The newspaper

Adam

Oh Adam

But

It wasn't until I met him

That I realized

I could be in a room full of people

Alone

In the corner

Yet still Feel As though

I was the most important Person

In the room

Or in his eyes

The world

That's how Edward

Made me

Feel

But

I wont lie.

Ever since he's been back.

I'm scared.

I'm so scared.

That The

_**Made **_

Will turn into

_**Makes **_

Me feel

_**Again.**_


	72. Chapter 72

OK…so I'm going to let Y'ALL decide…do you want me to continue on with the story OR do you want me to go back to when they met and sort of take you through the whole 'Falling in love' process…seriously…I'm asking y'all and whichever I get more votes on…that's the route I'm going to take…SO let me know! Also, SM owns it all!

She was lying to me

She was lying to me

It's a mantra

A never-ending

Mantra

Within my head

She was lying to me

But

Why

Why would she lie

About this

Why

I can hear him say my name

'Edward'

But

I don't look up

I continue to stare

Straight ahead

At

Nothing

There's a hand on my shoulder

I flinch

'Edward. Are you ok'

I rub my hands over my face

'Yah. Yah I'm ok'

'Ok. Do you want to have a seat'

He nods his head

To the chair next to me

I don't reply

I just sit down

Slouch

She lied to me

Bella lied to me

After everything

She was the one that lied

Yah

I left her

But

I never

Lied

I never

Once

Lied

I told her

I couldn't handle the pressure

I couldn't handle the responsibility

That came

With taking care of both her and Masen

But

At the time

I was an immature

Prick

I understand

It's only been

A little over a year

But

Believe me

I've learned

My lesson

Live

And

Learn

Is what they say

But

They never tell you

That when you're ready

To grow up

Those things

That you took for granted

Might not be there

Anymore


	73. Chapter 73

Well…we are officially moving forward…XO

SM Owns It All

I pull out my cell.

Compose.

New text.

*Bella*

Four words.

'We need to meet.'

Send.

'Edward'

I don't answer .

Continue to stare at my phone.

Telling it to respond.

Respond

Respond

Respond

'I can see what you're doing Edward and you need to stop'

Smirk.

'Wipe that look off your face. I've known you since you were a little boy, don't patronize me'

I shake my head.

'She lied to me.'

He sighs.

'Yes she did but you left her. Twice. Do you really want to throw this in her face.'

I grip my hair.

He's right.

But.

Why.

Why.

Does it always.

Come back to this.

Me .

Leaving.

Me.

Leaving her.

And

Him.

Masen.

'She came to my hotel the other night. Thanked me. I thought we were moving forward.'

He stands from his desk.

Walking over to me.

'That's my point. You are making progress. Is this really the route you want to go.'

'I don't have a choice. I need rights to my son. She's lying to me. Everything is out of control'

He grips my shoulder.

'You need to be really sure Edward because once we send her papers…'

He stops talking.

He doesn't have to finish his sentence.

I know.

What will happen.

Already.

Once she finds out.

I'm here.

Speaking to an attorney.

She will hate me.

Officially.

'I told you I was sure but I need to speak to her first. I need to find out why she lied about this'

He nods his head.

Walks back to his desk.

'Ok. If that's what you want. Go speak to her. Come back here and we will continue'

*DING*

My eyes flick to my phone.

Text message.

From

*Bella*

One word.

'Where'

I don't have to think of a place.

It's simple.

Our place.

'You know where. 10 minutes. Be there'

I don't say goodbye.

I just leave.


	74. Chapter 74

SM OWNS IT ALL

XO to all of you that review

XO to all of you who read

XO to all of you who share this story with friends

XO to everyone :)

By the time

I get to my car

I'm shaking

My hands

Are

Shaking

Unlock

Open door

Sit down

Drop Head

Breathe

Breathe

Breathe

I'm trying to control myself

He's right

I have to handle this

In a mature way

Talk

Just

Talk

Find out why

Ask questions

Accept her answers

And

Move on

Don't hold onto the past

Because

That's what she's doing

To me

Holding onto the past

And

Using it against me

All

The

Time

DON'T

Do the same

To her

I start the car

Pull out of the parking lot

And

Head to our place

Blinker

Turn right

Head down the narrow road

I see her car

I see her

Sitting on the hood

Damn

She's beautiful

So

So

So

Beautiful

She turns her head

Hears my tires

On the dirt road

And

Smiles

She smiles

She has

No idea

No idea

That I know

that

I

Know

She lied to me

But

As quick as she smiles

It falters

Because

In that moment

When she sees me

Really sees me

Through the windshield

Her smile

Falters

She knows

She knows


	75. Chapter 75

SM OWNS IT ALL

Reviews are LOVE…Y'all are freaking awesome! XO

I pull my car

Up

Right behind her

Park

Drop my hands

From the steering wheel

Into my lap

*DING*

New text

Eyes flicker

To my cell

DAD

I shake my head

Can't deal with that

Right now

Toss the phone aside

Lift my head

Jump back

My head knocking

The

Head rest behind me

Completely

Caught off guard

Bella

Isn't sitting

On the hood

Of her car

Anymore

No

She's standing

Right in front

Of mine

I hold her gaze

Refuse to give in

I

Stare

At

Her

Drinking in

Both

Her

Expression

And

Body language

I can feel myself

Seething

The anger

Trying to escape

Lash Out

I can feel it

Grit my teeth

Hold it in

Her face is

Emotionless

I can't read her

At all

She's closed

Off

Again

Which

Isn't what I wanted

Fix it Cullen

Fix it

So

I cock my head

To the side

And

Smile

But

Bella

Doesn't


	76. Chapter 76

SM OWNS IT ALL

Good Morning Sweets! XO

Her eyes widen

I shake my head

Smirk

Open the door

Step out

She never takes

Her eyes

Off me

Watches

Me

As though

I'm her pray

Testing me

She doesn't move

An inch

I walk to her

Slowly

She's facing forward

Her body like

A statue

Waiting for me

To strike

And

I do

Slowly

Very

Very

Slowly

I move as close

To her

As I can

Skim my nose

Along her cheek

Inhale

I can feel

Goosebumps

Pebble her skin

Her breath hitches

Slowly

I move

My lips

Down

The side of her face

To her ear

Inhale

Bite down

A tiny

Tiny

Bit

And

Whisper

'Hi Baby'


	77. Chapter 77

SM OWNS IT ALL

OH and as you know I was nominated for the 'Fresh Talent' iSparkle Award the voting is over THIS Friday so please vote for me (sidenote)...please know I won't be mad at you if you don't ;) BUT I will figure out a way to not send you updates...HAHAHAHHAHAHA just kidding! You can find it at theisparkleawards(DOT)moonfruit(DOT)com then go to vote and obviously I am 'WhatIfThingsWereDifferent'

Now onto the storayyyyy…XO

She smells

So good

So

So

Good

She smells

Like she always has

Like

Bella

My

Bella

My hands move

On their own

Accord

Grip her shoulders

She's shaking

I can't have that

Can I

I pull her to me

She hasn't moved

At all

She hasn't looked at me

Either

Whisper

'Bella'

Nothing

I rub my

Left hand

Slowly

Up and down

Her arm

My right hand

Reaches for her cheek

Turn

My eyes

Scan her face

Trying to get a reaction

Anything

But

She's still

Not

Looking at me

'Baby'

I plead

'Look at me'

She inhales

Closes her eyes

Exhales

Opens

She's searching

She knows

I know

She's

Waiting for me

To speak

To say

Something

Anything

I close my eyes

Lean forward

Resting my forehead

Onto hers

Inhale

Breathe out

Speak

'You lied to me angel'

I can hear the shake

In my voice

A sob escapes

But

Not from me

From her

I don't stop

'Why'

Pause

'Why did you lie to me'

I can feel my

Grip

Tightening

Tighter

Tighter

Tighter

I'm shaking

But

I don't let go


	78. Chapter 78

_**SM OWNS IT ALL**_

_**Vote for me lovie bears for the 'Fresh Talent' iSparkle Award. Voting is over tomorrow!**_

_**You can find it at theisparkleawards(DOT)moonfruit(DOT)com**_

_**'WhatIfThingsWereDifferent' **_

'Edward'

I can hear

Her talking

But

It sounds like

White noise

She's saying my name

But

I don't listen

This is it

This is the moment

The moment

She'll tell me

Why

And

I'm scared

So

Fucking

Scared

'Edward. Edward, stop'

Tighter

'Edward look at me'

Tighter

'You're hurting me Edward'

Her voice

Shakes

'EDWARD'

Slap

My eyes flick

To hers

Releasing

My hold

On her body

Like fire

She's staring

At me

Eyes wide

Scared

Oh fuck

Oh fuck

No

I've scared her

Again

I reach for her

She steps back

Eyes wide

Breathing quick

'Don't'

Shakes her head

Steps back

Wraps her arms

Around herself

Much like mine were

A moment

Ago

Hands

Rub up and down

Soothing where mine

Once were

I hurt her

Again

'FUCK'

I scream

Grip my hair

Take another step

Forward

She takes

Another step

Back

Shaking

Her head

Tears

Run down

Her cheeks

Opens her mouth

Close

So

I try

'Bel-'

Stop

Try again

'Bella. I'm sorry. I'm sorry'

Fall to my knees

Keep chanting the same

Word

_**Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.**_

Until I feel

Her fingers

Run through

My hair


	79. Chapter 79

SM OWNS IT ALL

I wrote an outtake from their earlier days. Review and I'll send it to you. XO

Your fingers

Run through my hair

Calm me

Center me

Make me focus

On you

On Masen

On what's important

You whisper

'Shhhhh. I've got you'

Standing

In front of me

I wrap my arms

Around your waist

Place my face

In your stomach

Bella

Bella

Bella

Pull you to me

As close as I can

'Shhhh. It's ok. It's ok'

I shake my head

Side to side

No it won't be

No

It

Won't

Be


	80. Chapter 80

SM Owns It All

Those of y'all that reviewed LOVED the outtake! YAY! I'm glad :)

She slowly pulls

My face

Away from her stomach

She tries

To tilt my head up

Refuse

I can't look at her

I can feel her lean

Into me

Her breath

On my ear

Whispers

'Look at me'

I shake my head

Refuse

She stands back up

Rubs her thumbs

Over my eyebrows

Her knuckles

Run softly down my cheeks

Hands encase my face

'Look at me'

She tries again

I tilt my head up

Eyes closed

My arms still wrapped

Around her

To an outsider

It looks as though

We're in a lovers embrace

But

To

Bella

And

I

We're

In

Our

Own

Personal

Hell


	81. Chapter 81

SM OWNS IT ALL

I can feel

Her

Soft breath

On my ear

She

Nuzzles my cheek

'Edward'

This time

I open

My eyes

'There you are'

Smiles

I stare

Motionless

Emotionless

Inhale

Exhale

I put my hand

Over hers

On my cheek

Squeeze

Slowly

Very

Very

Slowly

I pull myself

Up

From my knees

Never taking

Our hands

From my face

We're facing

Each other

Stripped

Bare

I'm ready

I can do this

'Bella. Let's talk'


	82. Chapter 82

SM OWNS IT ALL

2 for y'all today because you're SO awesome! XO

She nods

She's ready

We're both

Ready

Shake my head

Look down

Look Anywhere

Except

At

Her

'I honestly don't know where to start'

It's her turn to chuckle

'As cliché as it sounds. Why don't you start from the beginning'

I chance

A peek

And

She's smiling

Wow

Her smile

That smile

Is the one

I miss

So

I tell her

'I've missed your smile'

Tucks a piece of hair behind her ear

'I've missed everything about you. Every single thing Bella'

Rolls her eyes

Smirks

She's playing with me

'That's not starting from the beginning Edward'

'I know. I'm sorry. You're very distracting'

She sighs

And

Starts walking

Toward her car

I follow

I will always follow

I have learned my lesson

Opens her trunk

Pulls out a blanket

Looks over her shoulder

Grabs my hand

'Come on. Lets go down by the tree'

I look down

At our hands

Together

But

They don't

Look right

To me

So

Untangle

Then

Link our fingers

Together

Bring them to my face

She knows my intention

Hesitates

Pulls back

Shakes her head

No

No

No

Untangles

Then

Clasps

Our hands

Together

I shake my head

But

Keep my mouth

Shut

And

Just

Like

That

We head toward our tree


	83. Chapter 83

Read this chapter. THEN.

Imagine being in a relationship. Happy and stable (Tanner) AND then your one true love shows up again. The one who hurt you beyond belief but no matter what. You still love them. Ask yourself that and THEN re-read this chapter. XO

SM OWNS IT ALL.

We walk

Quietly

No need

For words

Hand

In

Hand

She looks

Over her shoulder

Eyes wide

Blinks

Smirks

She's thinking about something

And

I know

What it is

'Do you remember what happened the last time we were here?'

Of course I do

Smile

'How could I forget'

She frowns

'But. You did. You forgot so easily. You forgot us so easily Edward'

Her words

Hurt me

Glassy eyes

Face forward

Starts walking

But

I stop

My hand

Yanks her back

She stumbles

Faces me

Smacks my arm

Our hands untangle

It hurts

Already

'OWwww. What the hell'

'Never again Bella. Never again'

Her eyes blazing

'You alw-'

Words cut her off

'Yah. I always say that. I know'

Believe me. I know.

Inhale

'I know my words don't matter to you anymore Bella. Only actions.'

Look down

Tangle our hands

Back together

She blinks

Eyes close longer

Than normal

Nods

We start walking

Again


	84. Chapter 84

SM OWNS IT ALL

Happy Sunday Sweets!

So…I wrote another outtake from their earlier days…review and I'll send it to you! XO

Quiet

So

So

Quiet

The only sound

I hear

Is the water

In the distance

And

Of course

My thoughts

We're sitting against

Our tree

Me on

One side

Bella

On the other

Fingers linked

We thought this

Would be easier

We could

Ask the

Tough questions

And

Get the

Tough answers

And

We wouldn't

Have to look at

Each other

When

We bared our

Souls

My only

Rule

Our fingers

Stayed

Tangled

Together

I needed

Her touch

She obviously

Needed mine

Too as

She didn't

Hesitate

To agree

I squeeze

Her hand

And say

'You first Bell'


	85. Chapter 85

SM OWNS IT ALL

WOW! Those of y'all that reviewed LOVED the outtake!

I really think the outtakes will give insight into their current relationship.

She's quiet

Thinking over

Her

First

Question

We had

Two rules

One

Hands stay together

Two

We answer

Every question

Truthfully

No matter

How hard

The question

We answer

Truthfully

I was worried

Very

Very

Worried

I have

Shielded

Her

From

So

Much

But

Was I ready

Yes

Yes

I was

I didn't have

A choice

I loved her

I loved Masen

I loved

Love

My family

I hear

Her

Inhale

From the other

Side of the tree

She's ready

I'm ready

We're both

Ready

'Why did you make it your goal to break Adam and I up'

Well

Shit

I guess we really

Are

Starting from the

Beginning


	86. Chapter 86

SM OWNS IT ALL

XO LOVES!

I don't hesitate

'Easy. He wasn't good enough for you'

'Cut the bullshit Edward. No one is or ever has been good enough for me in your eyes. Except you. I'll ask again. Why?'

I rub my hands

Over my face

'He wasn't me'

She's silent

I go on

'When I met you Bella. I had to have you. There wasn't any other rhyme or reason to it. You were mine. Plain and simple. He had you. So. I took you away. And. If you're expecting an apology. You sure as shit aren't going to get it from me.'

Mumbling

The second part

Careful

As

I don't

Want her

To hear

'If I didn't take you back then. Masen wouldn't be here now.'

And

Because

Of that

I will never be

Sorry

Silence

Then

I hear her laughing

'You were such a little shit back then. Who am I kidding. You haven't changed a bit'

I bite my tongue

I don't want to fight

'You asked. I answered. Truthfully. Sorry if you don't like it'

I hear her mumble

I have to know

'What was that Bella'

Sighs

'I said that was my first mistake. Leaving him for you. That was my first mistake'

That hurt

Go ahead

And

Push the knife

In a bit further

I'm silent

She knows

I'm pissed

And

We've only

Made it through

One question

One


	87. Chapter 87

OK LOVIES! A few of y'all have asked how Bella could ever think Masen was a mistake and UM NO…that was not how I wanted you to interpret it.

The words actually read like this: Mumbling/The second part/Careful/AsI don't/Want her/To hear/'If I didn't take you back then. Masen wouldn't be here now.'

She never even heard him say anything about Masen but just know she would never regret Masen, EVER :)

THIS CHAPTER WILL EXPLAIN WHAT THE MISTAKE WAS

Whispers

'Your turn'

There are a million

Things I want to ask her

But

I'm starting

From the beginning

Like her

'Why was that your first mistake. You leaving Adam for me. Why am I a mistake'

I hear her moving

'You weren't a mistake Edward. Me leaving Adam was a mistake. He was safe. You weren't. You sucked me in from the beginning. Your charm. Your sweet words. Everything about you. I left a stable relationship for one with you. We were never stable. Never. We have a child together. A beautiful. Perfect. Child. And. We're still not stable. We will never be in a normal relationship. And. Yes. It's our own fault. Sometimes. I think that we have so much passion for each other that we don't know which side is up. We make sense in our minds. But. In real life. We would never work. Never. And. That. Is. Heartbreaking.'

I don't say a word

Because

She's right

Everything

She just said

Is true

Our relationship

Is fucked up

It always

Has been

But

I love her

I always have

I always will

'I love you Bella. I love you so much'

She squeezes my hand.

'I know but sometimes no matter how much we love someone. No matter how much we want to be with someone. It just won't work. It just won't Edward'


	88. Chapter 88

SM OWNS IT ALL

HOLA LOVIES

Oh and if you review I'll send you another outtake…from their earlier years…

The outtake will be your Friday chapter!

Skin tingles

Throat thick

Blinking back

Tears

Did she really

Just say those

Words

It won't work

It just won't

Work

Grip her hand

'Don't say that. You know it's not true'

'Edw-'

'We've gone through so much together. So. Much'

Pause

Then whisper

'Doesn't that mean anything to you Bella. Anything.

I can hear

Sniffles

Her

Hand in mine

Limp

'It means everything'

But

I can tell

She's giving up

Given up

On us

Slowly

But

She is

And

I can't let that happen

Change the subject

Quick

I go to turn around

She feels me moving

And

Says

'Stop'

So

I do

'We said we wouldn't look at each other. Stay over there. It will be too hard to see your face right now'

I nod

And

Turn back around

Whose turn is it now

I don't even remember

Fuck

My head hurts

I think

It's her turn

'I mean why break us up if you only planned on leaving me in the end'

'Wait. What. You honestly believe that. Bella. I didn't plan on leaving you. I never planned that. It just happened. At the time I was an immature asshole who couldn't get his shit together. Not once. But. Twice. All I thought about was myself. All I cared about was myself. But. I never planned it. Never.'

Silence

'Yah but you still did it. Not once. But. Twice. And. That isn't just something I can get over. It hurt. It still hurts. I hurt. Masen hurts. You hurt. You caused this. You.'

My fingers dig

Into the dirt

'I know. But. I'm trying to fix it. Bella. I'm trying to fix everything. If. You'll let me'

She stands up

Her hand

No longer

In mine

And

Walks

Away

Away

From

Me


	89. Chapter 89

1,000 REVIEWS…ONE THOUSAND REVIEWS!

Wow…JUST wow…I was excited when I had 3 reviews SERIOUSLY this is just AWESOME!

Thanks to all of y'all and all those peeps you've sent to this little story as well! XO SWEETIES!

SM OWNS IT ALL!

Here is the outtake…I thought, you know what? EVERYONE GETS THE OUTTAKE TODAY!

I'm walking down the hallway

It's quiet

So

Very

Quiet

My back to the double doors

Then

I hear it

A door

Opens

Then

Shuts

I can feel

Someone

Watching me

Goosebumps

Cover my skin

What the fuck

I should have never

Left to go to the restroom

Or

I should have at least

Taken

Adam's offer

To walk me

Seriously

What the fuck

Bella

This is how

Teenage horror movies

Start

Great

Just great

And

Here I am

In my prom dress

With

My

Hair done

Makeup done

And

Now

Some psycho

Stalker is going

To attack me

In the hallway

Yah

Teenage angst ridden

Horror plot

At its best

I keep walking

Steps get closer

I'm nearing the end of the hall

Turn right

Head to the office

Turn left

Head to the bathrooms

I turn right

But

Don't turn around

Speed up

Where the hell is

Everyone

It's prom

For shits sake

It's quiet

The footsteps behind me

Have stopped

Breathing hard

My cell buzzes

In my purse

Shit

That

Scared me

Fumbling

I reach inside

Never

Stop walking

Screen lights up

Edward

Smile

*turn around*

So

I do

And

There he is

As

Beautiful

As Ever

Standing in the hallway

In his tuxedo

Holding a single

Pink rose

Smile on his face

I wondered where he was

I haven't seen him all night

I guess I don't need to wonder

Anymore

Because

Here he is

Here

With

Me

I don't move

But

He does

Walks slowly towards me

Kisses my cheek

Pulls me into him

Breathes me in

'Bella. You look. You look. Shit. You look perfect'

Mumble

Thank you

Into his ear

'I haven't been able to take my eyes off you all night'

Huh

He's been here

But

Wait

'What do you mean. I haven't seen you all night. Where have you been. Have you been here this whole time'

He tucks a piece of hair

Behind my ear

Puts his hands

On my face

'Yes'

Pout

'Oh well I haven't seen you'

He smiles

'Were you looking for me. Were you upset when you couldn't find me Bella. Did you miss me'

He's asking me

Too

Many questions

I go to answer

When he cuts me off

'Plus. Why were you worried about me when you are here with Adam.'

He smirks

I want to slap it

Off his face

But

I don't

I play his games

Because

That's what we do

Play games

We've been doing this

For

Over a year

So

Why stop

Now

And

To

Tell you the truth

We probably

Won't

Ever

Stop

So

I lean into him

And

Whisper

'Because. I missed you'

Then

I

Kiss

His

Cheek


	90. Chapter 90

OK, SO who told their friends to come and read this story, NO really? WHO! PLEASE tell me! I've gotten SO many alerts/faves over the past few days and I want to know who I should thank! XO LOVIES! OH and I'm SO glad y'all loved the outtake!

My skin tingles

I can feel

The distance

Both

Hers

And

Ours

It isn't fair

None of this

Is fair

Fuck

Now listen

To me

What

Am I

Five

But

We promised

We

Promised

That

We wouldn't

Leave

That

We'd sit here

And

Talk

No matter

How difficult

It

Becomes

And

Look at her

She already

Left

She left

After what

10 minutes

When the going gets tough

I bite my tongue

Fuck

That's me

Not her

But

This time

I'm not doing

The leaving

I'm not going

Anywhere

I put my head

In my

Hands

Maybe

This is a

Lost cause

Maybe

We can't fix this

Maybe

It's

Too

Late

I

Breathe in

Out

Put my hands

Back by my side

Then

I feel it

Fingers

That

Ever so slowly

Entwine

With mine

Whispers

'I'm sorry'

I don't say anything

I don't have to

Say anything

She already knows

I understand


	91. Chapter 91

HEY LOVIES! XO

SM OWNS IT ALL

The birds chirp

The sun shines

The leaves blow

Life happens

All around

Us

And

Here we sit

Trying to fix

Ours

Together

One step

One question

At a time

It's her turn

I squeeze her hand

She squeezes

Back

We're quiet

Thinking

Wondering

Nervous

All of the above

'When I told you I was pregnant. Why didn't you tell me then how you felt. Why just bottle everything up. Then leave. If you would have talked to me about it. We could have figured it out. I know we could have. But. You got scared. And. Left. You didn't ask me how I felt. You didn't ask for my help. You didn't ask for anything. You left. And. You have no idea. No idea. How it felt. Waking up in the morning. Alone. With nothing but a note. And. A baby growing inside of me. That we created. You. And. I.'

It hurts to remember

That night

The night

I left

The first time

It physically

Hurts

To remember

'I stared at you all night. I didn't sleep at all. I remember getting into bed with you. Wrapping my arms around your waist. Putting my palm to your stomach. You fell asleep so easy. You had no idea. No idea. I was planning to leave. I don't even know if I blinked. The entire night. I tried to talk myself out of it so many times. I kissed you. Your favorite'

She interrupts

'Butterfly kisses'

'Yah. Butterfly kisses. I think I was trying to wake you up. Intentionally. I thought that if I could just see your eyes. You would see. You would see everything that I was battling inside. But. No matter what I did. You wouldn't wake up. You slept. Peacefully. I talked to you as well. I told you everything. How I felt. How scared I was. How I knew I couldn't be there for you. For Masen. That I wasn't strong enough. I would screw everything up. Which in turn would ruin both your lives. I was leaving for you. For our baby. I thought I was putting myself second. But. I know now. I was only thinking about myself. And. It cost me. Us. Everything'

'I had no idea you felt that way Edward. No idea. You never let on that you were unhappy. You never acted like you wanted to be anywhere else. You never acted like you didn't want to be with me. With Masen. And. All that time. All that time. You didn't want to be there. Oh my God. You didn't want us. You never wanted us. And. I was just some stupid fucking girl who was so in love with you that I couldn't see the truth. Literally. Right in front of my face.'

Her voices trembles

Her mind

Her thoughts

All over the place

Fix this

Edward

Fix this

'I wasn't unhappy Bella. I was never unhappy. Don't you get it. It was never about you. It was about me. I was a selfish prick. An inconsiderate asshole who only thought about himself. That's it. I loved you more than anything in the entire world. But. I loved myself more. Then. Back then. I loved myself more. The night I left was horrible. But. I had to do it. I had to leave. The last thing I said to you. Was that I loved you. I loved you. But. You have to understand. I was doing it for you. For our baby. For Masen. He kept nudging me from inside your belly. I was holding you so tight. Tears running down my face. I have no idea how I pulled myself from that bed. But. I did. And. It was one of the worst mistakes of my life. The second mistake. Would be when I left. Again. After he was born.'


	92. Chapter 92

SM OWNS IT ALL

UMMMMMMMMMM…WOW just WOW…it's literally 50/50 on those that want an HEA and those who DON'T…SO this entire chapter is Bella talking…about her feelings…to Edward…so read it like someone telling you something…it's simply her talking…ABOUT time ;)

'When you left.

The second time.

Edward.

God.

When you left.

Again.

It was awful.

I couldn't.

Eat.

Sleep.

Talk.

I couldn't do.

Anything.

I tried.

I really did.

I went to a therapist.

She asked me all these questions.

And.

Every time.

Every single time.

I tried to open my mouth.

My head would fall.

Forward.

And.

My entire body.

Would break out in goose bumps.

And.

Every time.

She would come sit by me.

Which.

I am sure was against the rules.

But.

She didn't care.

And.

At that point.

I didn't care either.

I just needed someone to hold me.

I craved human touch.

A hug.

Fuck.

It was just a hug.

But.

Every time.

I could feel the tears.

Behind my eyes.

Begging to come through.

But.

I wouldn't let them.

I wouldn't let them win.

Because.

If I cried.

Then.

In some fucked up way.

It proved to me.

That.

You won.

That you won.

Again.

And.

I wouldn't.

Let that happen.

You left me.

You left Us.

Not.

Once.

But.

Twice.

And.

After all those times.

I still refused to believe.

I was alone.

Which.

Was funny.

Because.

I was.

Alone.

I didn't have anyone.

Other than my son.

If it wasn't for Masen.

If it wasn't for that beautiful.

Baby boy.

He saved me.

Edward.

Masen saved me.

He was the reason.

I got up in the morning.

He was the reason.

I pulled myself up.

From the ground.

The ground.

That.

You.

Left me on.

He was all my reasons.

And.

Then.

After.

I met Tanner.

And.

Allowed him into.

Our life.

I realized.

Something.

I realized.

That.

Tanner.

Was the reason.

He was the reason.

I was happy again.

That.

I was living again.

Don't you get it.

Edward.

Tanner.

Saved us.

He saved.

Masen and I.

And.

That.

Wasn't his job.

That.

Was yours.'


	93. Chapter 93

SM OWNS IT ALL

XO SWEETS :)

I go to respond

I go to tell her

That

I'm sorry

That

We'll get through this

Together

I go to tell her

The same thing

I've been telling

The same thing

I will always tell

Her

But

Before

I have a chance

Something

Catches my attention

And

I look up

Then

It happens

That moment

That

Moment

When you know

The shit

Is going to hit

The fan

Everything

Goes silent

As

Tanner

Is standing

Not five feet

Away

On my side

Of the tree

And

I can tell

That

Bella hasn't

Heard

Or

Seen

Him

Yet

I don't say a word

I don't make a sound

And

I'm glad

What would I say

What could I say

So instead

We stare at each other

And

That is when

I notice

His face

His eyes

His posture

And

Wonder

How much

He heard


	94. Chapter 94

He is here…YEP Tanner is here…

SM OWNS IT ALL

We stare

At each other

For

I don't know

How long

Then

She says

'Edward'

Deep breath

Inhale

Tanner's eyes flick

From mine

To hers

Fuck

Close my eyes

Open

When I do

His eyes

Are still

On her

And

It's obvious

She

Has yet to

See him

So

I don't respond

Instead

I put me head

Down

Squeeze

Her hand

Tug a little

She

Giggles

But

Doesn't

Turn around

Shit

I shake my

Head

Of course

When

I want her

When

I need her

To do something

She doesn't


	95. Chapter 95

SM OWNS IT ALL

All it took

Was

One word

From him

To make

Her body react

'Bella'

Fuck

I hear her

Gasp

Squeeze

Her hand

Anything

To make her stay

Here

With me

But

She pulls

Away

And

Turns around

'Tanner'

I don't look

At them

At

Either of them

I can't

I know

It will hurt

Too

Much

She quickly

Scrambles

To stand up

Footsteps

'Don't'

My eyes flick

To Tanner

He takes a

Step back

'Just don't Bella'

Shakes his head

Eyes never

Leaving hers

'Tanner. Please'

I can hear

Her footsteps

Approaching

From behind me

He takes another

Step back

'Let me explain'

I'm staring

At him

Watching his every

Move

He smirks

'Why Bella'

She must open

Her mouth to speak

But

He quickly

Cuts her off

Puts

His hand up

Sighs

'I don't even know what I'm doing here'

And

With those words

It's silent

Everything is

Silent

He looks from

Bella

To

Me

Then

Turns around

To leave


	96. Chapter 96

SM OWNS IT ALL

We don't move

We haven't said

A word

Tanner has been gone

For

I don't know

How long

It could have been

An hour

Or

It could have been

Three minutes

But

It isn't until

I let out a breath

That

I didn't realize

I'd been holding

It happens

She whispers

Quietly

So

So

Quietly

'What the fuck have I done'

And

Runs past me

Screaming

'WAIT. Tanner. Please wait'


	97. Chapter 97

SM OWNS IT ALL

XO EVERYONE…

'Bella'

She keeps running

'Bella'

She keeps running

Fuck

She's going after him

Bella's leaving

She's leaving

Me

React

I stand up

Start running

I realize

She is running

After

Tanner

And

I'm

Running

After

Her

It's funny really

In a sad sort of way

I can see

Him

Getting into his car

Starts

Reverses

She yells

'Tanner. WAIT'

She doesn't slow down

I don't slow down

But

Neither does

Tanner

He leaves


	98. Chapter 98

SM OWNS IT ALL

I just write the words that will probably piss you off...or at least in this chapter ;)

This is Chapter 99...Chapter 100 will be CRAZY!

XO LOVES!

We're silent

Both

Quiet

Then

She screams

'FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK'

So

Loud

I jump

But

Don't move

Stand there

Behind her

Careful not to

Touch

She grabs her hair

Groans

'Bella'

No response

'Bella'

Sigh

'Edward. Just don't. Don't say anything.'

I step forward

Grab her shoulder

She flinches away

'I have to go'

Pull my hand back

Immediately

Start apologizing

'Sorry. Ok. Ok. I won't touch you. Just please. Please. Don't leave'

She turns around

Her eyes

Red

Fierce

Determined

'Did you not see what just happened. Did you not see Tanner here. Did you not see Tanner see me. See me. With you. Did you not just see that Edward.'

I try to respond

Open my mouth

To say something

Anything

But

I don't

Her eyes

Her stare

Her glare

Don't allow me to

She shakes her head

'If I've ruined this. With him. By. Being here. With you. I just.'

She doesn't finish her sentence

She doesn't have to

I understand

I understand

Completely


	99. Chapter 99

SM OWNS IT ALL

This is Chapter 99...I DO NOT know why my Doc Uploader told me the last Chapter was 99...regardless here you go :) CHAPTER 100...will be crazy :) XO

I want to

Leave

No

That's not true

I don't

Want

To leave

But

I'm scared

I'm

So

Fucking

Scared

That

She is going to leave

Me

Standing here

And

Go back to him

To Tanner

And

I don't want to

Watch

That happen

I can't

Watch

That happen

Which is why

I want to be

The

First one

To leave

But

Before

I can

Do that

She starts talking

Breaking my heart

Piece

By

Piece

'I fucking hate you

Did you know that

Edward

I fucking hate you

But

God

Just

God

No matter how much

How much

I want to

Yell

Punch

Kick

Or

Scream

At

You

No matter

How much

I want

To do all

Of those

Things

I don't

Because

I know

I fucking know

That

I love you

More

I love you

All the way down

To my bones

To my every last breath

And

For

That

I hate you

Even

Fucking

More'


	100. Chapter 100

SM OWNS IT ALL

Eyes wide

Staring at the girl

The woman

Who has always

Owned

Not only

My body

But

My heart

As well

That

Was

Until now

Because

Now

It's broken

Bella wins

She has officially

Broke

My

Heart

I try to

Talk

React

Breathe

But

I can't do

Any

Of those things

My mouth is

Open

I can feel

Tears

Flowing down

My cheeks

She has

No idea

No idea

How I feel

She hates me

She said it

She fucking hates

Me

I shake my head

Stare at her

While

She stares

Back

She's waiting

Waiting

For me to say

Something

But

I don't

I can't

I'm done

Done

Done

Done

I turn to leave

Walk

One

foot in front

Of

The other

Get to my car

Lift the handle

Stop

Her

Hands

Around my waist

Face

Pressed to my back

A kiss

So

Soft

I

Barely feel it

But

I feel it

None the less

Whispers

'Edward'

Not this time

I can't

Not again

A sob escapes

'No Bella'

Open the door

Fall into my seat

Turn on the ignition

Look straight ahead

Don't look at her

Don't look at her

Fuck

'EDWARD'

She screams

Starts pounding on the window

I can't do this

I drop my head

To the steering wheel

'STOP. FUCKING STOP'

Silence

Lift my head

Eyes closed

Breath in

Breath out

Door opens

Eyes

Stay

Closed


	101. Chapter 101

SM OWNS IT ALL

Ok…so I haven't been able to update since Monday BUTTTTT I have 5 chapters ready to go! I can post them 12345 OR I can post them over the weekend…How about you awesome PEEPS tell me which you would prefer! XO

Clench my eyes

Hard

Don't open

Don't

Open

I know

She's there

I can feel

Her

I can feel

The heat

From her hand

Reaching

Towards me

Lean away

Don't touch me

I can't handle it

If she does

If she touches me

I'll give into her

I know

I will

I'll give in

To whatever

She wants

Whatever

She asks

I'll give it to her

In the hopes

Of keeping

Her

Here

With

Me


	102. Chapter 102

SM OWNS IT ALL

The reviews have SPOKEN! I will send one more after this and the rest over the weekend!  
>ALSO…do y'all want another chapter from their past…let me know! XO<p>

I feel

Her

Move

Closer

Her

Breath

Closer

She sits

On my lap

Feel

Her eyes

On my face

Mine

Still closed

She inhales

Exhales

I inhale

Exhale

Fingers so soft

Tentatively

Run along

My face

Outlining

My nose

My jaw

Then

My lips

Goosebumps

Pebble my skin

Eyes still closed

I can feel myself

Giving in

As

I reach forward

And

Put my hands

On

Her

Hips


	103. Chapter 103

SM OWNS IT ALL

I am going to do a few chapters from their past...what do y'all want to read about? YOU TELL ME :) XO

She leans forward

Fingers

Replaced

By

Lips

Her

Lips

Which

Outline

My nose

My jaw

And

Then

My

Lips

Moan

Fingers tighten

Around

Her hips

'Edward. Open your eyes'

Shake my head

'Edward'

Her lips run

Along my face

Fingers

Along

My chest

'I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean it. I could never hate you. Open your eyes'

I hear the

Desperation

In her voice

I understand

The desperation

In her voice

I

Open

My

Eyes


	104. Chapter 104

SM OWNS IT ALL

Thanks to those who sent thoughts on what they would like to see from their past. If you forgot, you can send whenever!

I already had a few ideas/chapters written but it's always great to hear from my readers! XO

With

My

Eyes

Open

I can see

I can feel

Her plea

'You know that. Right. I could never hate you'

Eyes

Locked on hers

Looking for lies

Her lies

But

All

I see is

The girl

I love

The girl

I'll always

Love

No matter what

'I believe you'

She lets out

The breath

She's been holding

Exhaling loudly

Tears threaten

To fall

Her exterior

Wavering

I pull her to me

Wrap her

In my arms

And

Tell

Her

'Everything will be all right'


	105. Chapter 105

SM OWNS IT ALL

BUT my lovely readers are going to own a little bit of Bella's mind in this chapter ;) XO

It feels perfect

I feel perfect

He makes

Everything

Better

His

Smell

His

Arms

His

Breath

His

Hugs

His

Eyes

His

Lips

His

Gaze

His

Smile

His

Hands

His

Tears

His

Fear

His

Grasp

His

Pleas

His

Kiss

His

Promises

That

I don't

Believe

Anymore

But

Even

Those

Even

Broken

Promises

Make

Every

Single

Thing

Better

Makes

Every

Single

Thing

Perfect


	106. Chapter 106

SM OWNS IT ALL

Lets chill with Bella for a bit…What do you think?

Why do I love you

So much

But

Hate you

Even more

I ask myself

This question

Everyday

No

Every hour

No

Every minute

And

How is that

Possible

How does that

Happen

Is this a game

Is this some

Sick game

That

No one bothered

To mention

To me

No one bothered

To

Say

Hey

When you grow up

You will meet a guy

And

He will make you

Think

That

He

Is

Great

Handsome

Trustworthy

Loyal

Perfect

In every sense

Of the way

But

It's all a lie

And

In the end

He will leave

You

He will leave

You

Alone

It will feel

Like

Your heart

Has been ripped

From

Your body

And

No one

Will care

No one

Except you

Yourself


	107. Chapter 107

SM OWNS IT ALL

Back to Edward. That was fun, right? Being in Bella's head for a bit…

Leans back

Her

Head

No longer

On my shoulder

She's looking

At me

Like I'm

Her

World

Like

I'm

Her

Everything

And

It makes

Me wonder

If this

Is

What

I look

Like

When

I'm looking at

Her

Because

If so

I never want

To move from this

Place

Our

Place


	108. Chapter 108

SM OWNS IT ALL

I am going out of town for my birthday! I am leaving tomorrow and I won't be back until next week SO here is the dealio...I have this chapter and one more that I was going to update tomorrow...However, let me know if you'd rather have it tonight! XO

Tuck a strand

Of hair

Behind

Her

Ear

It's silent

I can hear

The

Grasshoppers

Chirping

In the distance

I can hear

The

Birds

The

Water

Everything

But

Right here

In this moment

In

This

Moment

Between

The two of us

Her

And

I

It's calm

It's silent

It's perfect

She reaches her hand

Up

Catching mine

In the process

Stares

Twists it around

Places a kiss

On my wrist

More importantly

The tattoo

On

My wrist


	109. Chapter 109

OH MY GOODNESS! Oh my goodness! Thank you SO very much for all the Happy Birthday wishes! Y'all are just...GREAT! XO

Also...it looked as though the consensus was for me to post the last chapter (until next week) this morning (seeing as most of y'all like reading daily updates from these crazy in LOVE yet driving us ALL bonkers characters HAHA)

One kiss

Two kisses

Shes

Drags

Her

Lips

Across

My

Wrist

Her

Eyes

Never

Leaving

Mine

My

Breath hitches

Hers

Next

She smiles

One kiss

Two kiss

She

Whispers

'I love this'

'Me too'

'It's perfect'

'He's perfect, Bella'

A tear

Falls

From her eye

I catch it

She

Whispers

'Yes. Yes. He is'

Silence

As

This moment

Is

Too

Big

For words


	110. Chapter 110

HEY LOVESSSSSSSSSSS!

How about this? Let's get a look into Bella's head (see what she has running around up there) and then we will be ALL Edward?

Also…what are you reading right now? Fanfiction wise…XO

You ignore me

You don't want me

You hate me

I loathe you

But

I love you

With ever breath I take

With everything inside me

But I hate you

I

Fucking

Hate

You

But

I'll

Always

Love

You

More

I will

Always

Love you

You drain

Everything out of me

Everything

My breath

My light

My want

Everything

But

I always come back

You always come back

We always comes back

To

Each

Other

Why

Why

Do we

Do this

WHY

WHY

WHY


	111. Chapter 111

Thank you so much for sending me what you are reading! I received LOTS of good stories!

Ok…I have a plan…if you will :)

If I get 20 reviews in the next say 20 minutes, I'll post the next chapter!

I NEVER do this, it actually drives me bonkers when writers do this but I really want to hear what y'all are thinking and I have like a thousand alerts but only those few (you know who you are and I ADORE you) review so…I'm going to see if this will get people out of their shells…I'm nice, I really am! HEHE!

XXXXXOOOOO!

I pull her to me

Nestling

My face

Into her neck

Inhale

Ask

'Where is he'

Silence

She doesn't move

Tense

'Who'

I chuckle

'Our baby'

I feel her smile

Against my shoulder

'Oh, sorry. He's with our neighbor'

Our neighbor

Not

Our

Neighbor

But

Their

Neighbor

'Oh'

Silence

I have to ask

'Does this neighbor watch him a lot'

She shakes her head

No

Then

Shrugs her right shoulder

I rub my hands

Up and down

Her

Back

'Her name is Beth. She's an older lady who lives next door. She's been an angel'

This woman

I've never met

This woman

Who knows my son better

Than I do

Beth

Beth

Beth

I already like her

And

I've never met her

But

She's been there

Here

For Bella

For Masen

And

That means everything


	112. Chapter 112

WELP y'all did it…YOU DID IT! CHEERS LOUDLY!

Ok…now this one is going to probably make y'all scream and yell and I don't know, throw your laptop across the room SO hold onto your laptop HOLD ON!

'Can I meet her. Beth. Can I meet her'

She doesn't say a word

Instead

Her hands

Move

Slowly

From her sides

So

So

Slowly

Upward

And

Wrap around my neck

She doesn't move

Neither do I

She presses her face into my neck

I can hear her breathing

A great distraction

That

Doesn't work

My hands

Continue

To rub and down

Her back

Then I feel

Lips

Her lips

On my collarbone

One kiss

Two kiss

Closer

Closer

Higher

Higher

One kiss

Two kiss

My neck

Higher

One kiss

Two kiss

Higher

Jaw

One kiss

Two kiss

Higher

Cheek

One kiss

Two kiss

Higher

Temple

I shift

Underneath her

She shifts

Closer to me

Wiggles her hips

Closer

Closer

I try to push her

Back

To look into her eyes

But

She won't let me

Instead

She pulls herself

Closer

Closer

It takes

A few seconds

For my brain

To catch up

To what she's doing

I say her name

Softly

So

Softly

Like

A prayer

My arms wrap

Around her waist

One hand on the back of her head

The other on the small of her back

She's shaking

Or

Is that me


	113. Chapter 113

I got about 10 reviews from GUEST…WTH? Guest…who is this guest ;)

Also…if you're reading this story then it's safe to say that you like to read plots/characters that make your heart literally fall to the floor and/or stories that cause your entire body to break out into goosebumps because YAH that just happened…From the beginning I labeled this as ANGST/DRAMA (YEP) big ole' angst/drama so you should have known it was going to be pretty freaking intense…I also labeled it as Edward/Bella…I am NOT going to give away any of the plot but I want 'those' who PM me and I don't know the best way to say this…are RUDE and TICKED off because they don't like how the story is going do me a big favor and just um…STOP READING…OH and no need to PM me and say, 'Yah. I've stopped reading because of this, this or this' (AND I mean that in the nicest way possible because if this isn't your cup of tea well then...it isn't your cup of tea) OK…I feel better…XO!

I hear

Mumbling

Into my chest

But

I can't actually

Hear her words

Try to push

Her

Shoulders back

But

She won't let me

Shakes her head

Continues to mumble

My fingers run through

Her hair

Down

Her

Shoulders

Down

Her

Back

To

Her

Waist

Squeeze

Then

Whisper into her ear

'I can't hear what you're saying pretty girl'

Her body tenses up

In the most beautiful way

'I don't know what I'm doing Edward'

Shakes her head

My lips haven't moved from her ear

'Neither do I, Bell. Neither do I.'


	114. Chapter 114

AHHHHHHHHHH…OK! My sweetie Sunflower just sent me a message and I feel as though the whole AN came off as pissy…That's NOT me ;) I'm not a pissy person…99% of my reviews are I LOVE THIS STORY and YOU'RE GREAT that AN was not for the 99% it's only a handful that are mean and that was who the rant was for NOT the positive peeps…NEVER the positive peeps…The positive peeps keep me writing…I'm a positive peep J I mean think about how many kisses and hugs I throw around! I just really don't like when people go around hurting other people's feelings :(

Here's another chapter because I love the positive peeps so much! There's a lot of communicating in this chapter so the format looks a bit weird...

'What do we do then. What do we do. What do I do. I'm so confused Edward. I feel like everything is falling apart. Ever since you walked back into my life. It feels as though everything is falling apart'

'Is everything falling apart in a good way or a bad way Bell. That's the most important question'

'I don't know. Sometimes it's in a good way. Right now. With you. In your arms. It's in a good way. But. When I leave and go home. To Tanner. And. All I can think about is you. It's in a bad way. Sometimes I look at Tanner with Masen and I think how can life get any better. And. Then sometimes I look at Tanner with Masen and I think. We should be with Edward. I'm not at the right place. Everything is confusing. And. I'm scared. I'm so scared. And. I know. I know. That once I get done talking you will say. Don't be scared. I'm here. But. Are you. Are you really here Edward. Or. Are you going to pack up and leave again. Because. If I leave Tanner. I'm leaving security. I'm leaving a man who loves me and my child. Whose been there for me. For us. When I needed him. And. Honestly. When I hear myself saying this out loud. I sound like a fool. Because. What woman. Would leave that man. What woman. Would leave that man for a man who left her. Twice. This is my hesitation. This is my only hesitation. Because. I know. I know. The man who I am supposed to be with. Is you. I know that. But. There is a difference. Between. The man I am supposed to be with. And. The man I should be with.'


	115. Chapter 115

I think this is what a lot of you have been waiting for…let me know what you think...I think you'll like it or maybe hate it...HEHE...either way I think you will understand Edward a little bit better...XO

SM OWNS IT ALL

I'm the one she wants.

Me.

Not Tanner.

Me.

I'm the one.

While I process this information.

I think back.

I think back to when I left them.

I think back.

To what I was thinking that day.

Why I did it.

Why I had.

To do it.

For them.

It was always.

Everything was always.

For them.

*FLASHBACK*

I left.

What the fuck are you doing.

Edward.

What the fuck are you doing.

Go back.

Go back.

Go back.

Go back.

I keep driving.

I can't go back.

I can't do this to them.

I have to leave.

I have to get away.

If I stay.

If.

I.

Stay.

Then.

I'll just end up leaving.

Once.

He is older.

If I leave now.

If.

I.

Leave.

Now.

He won't remember.

Me.

He is a baby.

He won't remember.

But.

If I stay.

If I stay.

With them.

I want to stay.

Fuck.

I want to stay.

So.

Bad.

But.

If I do.

It will just be harder for him.

In the end.

Because.

He'll get older.

And.

He'll get attached to me.

I rub my hands over my face.

I can't let that happen.

I won't let that happen.

But.

Right now.

Right.

Now.

He doesn't even.

Know me.

So.

I'm doing this for Masen.

Not for me.

Not for Bell.

Fuck.

My breathing picks up.

Slam on the brake.

Pull over.

Head on the steering wheel.

You have to leave Edward.

You have to leave.

For good this time.

For good.

You can't come back.

If you stay.

You will be just like him.

Just like the man who stayed.

Just like the man who stayed when he didn't want to.

Just like the man who packed up and left when you were 5 years old.

Just like the man who watched you from his rear view mirror.

While you ran after him.

He didn't stop.

He.

Drove away.

From you.

Don't be like him.

Don't be like your father.


	116. Chapter 116

I LOVED all of the reviews! You guys are seriously just amazing...AMAZING! XO

SM OWNS IT ALL

I need to talk to her

I need to tell her

Everything

No holding back

No keeping my words inside

She deserves better

I know this

I know

She deserves better

I know

She deserves someone like

Tanner

But

I'm selfish

And

I need her

'Lets go back to my hotel'

Silence

Try again

'Bell. Did you hear me'

Silence

Lightly push against

Her shoulders

She gives into me

Leans back

Big

Brown

Eyes

Focused on mine

Looking for something

Anything

To make this ok

She doesn't find

What

She is looking for

As

I can see

The questions

Swirling around

In her head

The reservations

The hesitations

The fear

I'm sure she sees

The same in mine

She's scared

But

So

Am

I


	117. Chapter 117

SM OWNS IT ALL

I am going to do another outtake...from their earlier days! If you want it, let me know and I will email it to you directly! XO

She

Whispers

'Ok'

Ok

She said ok

My arms tighten

Around her

Tighter than they were

Before

Breathe in

Breathe out

'Do you want to follow me'

She shakes her head

No

Lifts herself slowly

Brown eyes

Staring

Into mine

Her hands on my shoulders

My hands on her waist

She leans into me

And

I know

I know

What she wants

Lifting her up from my lap

To the passenger seat

Eyes never leaving

Each others

Her back pressed against

The leather

She inhales

Exhales

My hands move

From

Her waist

To

Her sides

To

Her shoulder

To the

Side of her face

To the

Seat belt

I pull

Causing her attention

To falter

She grabs the seatbelt

Pulling it across her body

*click*

'Let's go'


	118. Chapter 118

SM OWNS IT ALL

Thanks for all the LOVE for the outtake! I'm glad y'all liked it! :)

The ride to the hotel

Is silent

Neither of us

Say a word

Not

One word

I glance at her

From

The corner of my eye

She has her hands in her lap

Staring out the window

A picture of calm

Perfection

Whereas

I

Am

A picture of anything

But

Calm

And

Nothing close to perfection

That title is saved for her

For Bella

My Bell

I can feel my hands shaking

On the wheel

Squeeze

Get a hold of yourself

I place my right hand

On my thigh

Squeeze

Release

Squeeze

Release

Then I feel

Her

Hand on top of mine

'Stop. I'm here Edward. I'm here'

We continue our way to the hotel

In silence


	119. Chapter 119

Many of the reviews have said,'She knows him so well' and I LOVE IT! If there is one thing I want my readers to take from this story is that 'Edward and Bella' know each other and they love each other. XO! SM OWNS IT ALL

Blinker

Turn right

Blinker

Turn left

Into the parking lot

Of my hotel

Weave around the cars

Park

Deep breath

I ask

'You ready'

Without looking in her direction

She doesn't answer

Instead

Opens the door

Closes the door

Her

Back faces the window

I stay

She must wonder what's taking so long

As

She turns around

And

Faces me

My eyes locked on the beauty

Outside the car

Outside my reach

She's watching me

Eyes intense

Hair blowing gently

Around her face

Smiles

I can barely hear her say

Through the window

'What are you afraid of. It's just me'

I give her a weak smile

She just answered her own question


	120. Chapter 120

Um…HELLO…is this thing on…XO

SM OWNS IT ALL

Pull the door handle

To get to her

Push

Wind knocks it back

Try again

Step out

Thunder

Look up

Clouds rolling in

Seems fitting

Smirk

Shake my head

'Looks like it's fixing to rain'

She says

'Yah'

'Maybe we should go inside'

Silence

'Edward'

Answer

'Ok'

I don't know what this feeling is

I can't put a finger on it

I want her to be here

With

Me

But

What next

What happens next

Do we go inside

Talk

Fuck

Cuddle

Everything is so damn confusing


	121. Chapter 121

SM OWNS ITALL

We

Head toward the hotel entrance

Search my pocket for the key card

Doors open

Gust of cool air hits my face

The night clerk looks up from his magazine

'Good evening'

Give him a nod

And

Make my way over

'Is there anything I can help you with'

Bella stands next to me

Places her hands on the desk

But

Doesn't say a word

'Yes, as a matter of fact you can'

I pull out my key

And

Hand it to him

'I need another key made to this room'

'Of course sir, will that be all'

I shake my head yes

He takes the key

Makes a copy

Then

Hands it back

'You two have a good evening'

Hand him a five dollar bill

Turn to leave

Headed toward my room

Feel her behind me

Following me

We take the elevator up to the 3rd floor

Silence the whole way

*ding*

Doors open

Step out

Take a right

Walk

Then

Realize

She's not behind me


	122. Chapter 122

SM OWNS IT ALL.

Ok loves! I wanted to give y'all a few chapters tonight since I haven't updated much this week. XO

I can hear

Before

I can see

The elevator doors closing

I'm only a few feet away

But

I sprint back

Throwing my arm out

Not caring if I hurt myself in the process

This isn't about me

It hasn't been about me for a long time now

The doors re-open

She's standing there

Head down

'Bella'

Head down

I lean into the elevator

Making sure to keep my body

Between the doors

I reach for her hand

She reaches back

Then

I say to her

Those same words

She said to me

'It's just me Bella. What are you afraid of'


	123. Chapter 123

SM OWNS IT ALL

She stares

Hard

Into my eyes

Waiting to see

What

I'm not sure of

Maybe

Whether or not

I will take my hand back

Or

Step away from the doors

Letting the elevator

Shut

On her

On us

But

I do

Neither

I stand and wait

With

My hand out

For her

I shrug my shoulder

Eyes flick to my hand

Then

Back

Her face clear

Of any emotion

I've made her this way

Me

But

I'm going to change things

I will

I promise

So

I tell her

'I promise Bella'

Her eyes still hesitant

But she must believe me

As

She places

Her hand in

Mine


	124. Chapter 124

SM OWNS IT ALL

That's

All

It

Takes

Her hand in mine

And

I pull her to me

Arms wrap around her waist

Step outside the doors

My back hits the wall

Elevator closes

Everything happens so fast

Her head in the center of my chest

Inhale

Exhale

I can feel her breathing

Deeply

She can feel me doing the same

'Here'

I reach into my pocket

And

Hand her the key

She looks down

Afraid to touch

'Take it'

She doesn't

'Take it Bella'

She doesn't

So

I do the only thing I can

And

Reach around to the back pocket of her jeans

Putting the key into it's rightful place

She looks up at me

Eyes wide

My smirk in place

Shrug

'You wouldn't take it'


	125. Chapter 125

SM OWNS IT ALL

I love y'all! Your reviews are AMAZING! XO!

We silently walk to my room

Her hand in mine

Stop outside the door

'Use it'

She knows

Takes her key out of her back pocket

Insert

Green light

Open

We walk inside

'Do you want me to order some wine'

Answer quietly

'Yes please'

Walk over to the phone

Hit

Room service

Order

Hang up

'It will be 20 minutes'

She nods her head

'Do you remember when you used to massage my back when I was nervous'

Nod

What is she getting at

'Will you do it again'

Swallow

She takes off her jacket

Then

Grabs the hem

Of her shirt

'What are you doing Bell'

She gives me her 'duh' look

'Taking off my shirt'

I shake my head

Stand up

Head to the bathroom

Stop

Outside the door

Look over my shoulder

'Take off your shirt and get under the blanket'

Walk inside

Shut the door

Stare at myself in the mirror

Fuck


	126. Chapter 126

SM OWNS IT ALL

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

One

Two

Three

'Edward'

Fuck

'Be right there'

Get it together

Get it together

Turn on the faucet

Water streams out

Fast

Spraying my shirt

In the process

Figures

Rub my hands over my face

Grab the towel over the sink

Then

Head to the door

She's laying on the bed

Face down

Bra

Pants

Top

Folded on the chair by the bed

Which means

The only thing separating

Bella from that bed

Are her panties

Fuck

Me


	127. Chapter 127

HEY LOVES! SM OWNS IT ALL...I just own the annoying little buggers who can't seem to speak...EVER! XO

She doesn't look up from the bed

Her head face down

Into the pillow

Her feet at the top

Head at the bottom

She hears me walk into the room

I can tell

Her breathing gets louder

I slowly walk closer

Closer  
>Closer<br>Closer

She still doesn't look up

Standing next to the bed

Staring down at her

Sheet placed below her arms

Blanket thrown onto the floor

I lift my left knee

And

Place it on the corner of the bed

Next to her thigh

Bed dips

Much like my heart

It catches her attention

As she looks up

Turns her head to the left

Hair falling over her shoulder

Locks eyes with me

And

Smiles

My eyes linger

Down  
>Down<br>Down

'You wanted to talk Edward. Let's talk'


	128. Chapter 128

SM OWNS IT ALL

She wants to talk

Let's talk

We've waited long enough

Slowly

I straddle her body

Rub my hands together

They're freezing

Look down

Her face pressed

Into the pillow

Gather the hair

That's flowing down her back

And

Move it over her right shoulder

Then

I slowly move my hand down

Her

Left arm

And

Start messaging her hand

She moans

Pulling on each finger

Elongating the muscles

Start at her thumb

Work my way

To her ring finger

Pause

Twirl it around

Ask

'Why don't we start with the ring on your finger Bell'


	129. Chapter 129

SM OWNS IT ALL

Thanks for the reviews LOVE BUGS!

'What about it'

Silence

'Well. When did you get married'

'I'm not'

Silence

'But you said'

She cuts me off

'I didn't say anything Edward. You assumed'

Wait. What.

My head was processing too much information

'Why didn't you tell me. You knew I would think the worse'

She laughs

'The worse. Really Edward. Would it be so bad if I was married'

I'm being honest

'Yes. Yes Bell. it would'

Silence

'We're engaged'

I don't speak

She takes my silence as a sign to continue

'We'd been dating for a while but every time he tried to talk about our relationship. I would clam up. He knew why. He would say how much he loves me. Loves Masen. And. There I was. Being a bitch and not talking about my feelings. Because. I did that once. Talked about my feelings. And. Look where that got me. Got us'


	130. Chapter 130

SM OWNS IT ALL

I don't say anything.

Stay quiet.

I allow her to speak.

I allow her to get everything out.

And

Then.

When she's done.

I'll start.

I'll talk.

'He asked me to marry him the same night you showed up. Which seems fitting. Don't you think. I finally decide to move on. With him. Because. This time. I didn't think you would come back. You gave me no reason to believe you would ever come back. For me. For us. So. When he asked me. I said yes. I said yes to a new beginning. And. Then. In the middle of the night. On the same night I decide to move forward. With him. You show up'


	131. Chapter 131

SM OWNS IT ALL

Y'all floored yet? XO

'I was dreaming about you. That night. And. In my dream I was telling you about Tanner. About. How I moved on. And. How I was happy. And. Then. In my dream. You said. Bell. Wake up. And. When I did. You were standing there. Watching me. But. This time. It wasn't a dream. It was real'

I continue to look down at her.

Her face to the side.

But.

She won't look at me.

She's staring straight ahead.

I don't stop her.

I continue to listen.

It's what she needs.

Someone.

Anyone.

To listen.

'I remember the next day. Thinking. Of course he's here. Of course he would show up. That's how you are. Everything's always about you. Always about what you need. What you want. It was never about me. I dreamed about you. Every night. Every single night. But. I never mentioned Tanner. Ever. Not once. I blamed myself. I thought. If I never would have told the dream Edward about my happiness. About Tanner. Then he would have stayed away. Because. I honestly felt as though you didn't want me to be happy. Ever. And. Especially with another man. And. I guess I was right. Because. Once I told dream Edward. The real one showed up'


	132. Chapter 132

SM OWNS IT ALL

I continue to listen  
>I continue to wait<br>I continue to be

Patient

'Then everything happened so quickly. You wanted to talk to me. You wanted to see Masen. You wouldn't take no for an answer. And. Again. It was all about you. About Edward. And. What he needs. And. What he wants'

I interrupt

'That's not true Bella. That's not true at all'

'Isn't it'

I try again'

'Ok. Yes. I wanted to talk to you. And. Yes. I wanted to see Masen. But. I never wanted to make it about myself. And. If you felt that way. Then. I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry'

She breathes in deep.

'Ok'

It's my turn to exhale

'Thank you'

She turns her head

And

Looks at me over her left shoulder

Inhale

This is the first time she's looked at me

Since

We started talking

'You're welcome'

Exhale


	133. Chapter 133

SM OWNS IT ALL

Lovin' the reviews! XO

I smile

And

Wink

She turns her head back

I haven't let go of her hand

So

I slowly trail my fingertips

Back up her arm

To her left shoulder

Do the same thing

On the right

Both hands meet

In the middle

Of her back

She moans

Well

That's

Just

Fucking

Great

'That feels so great'

I nod my head

Speak

She can't see your face

I clear my throat

'Good'

I start massaging her shoulders

Not applying too much pressure

'Harder'

She says

I bring my thumb to the top of

Her spine

And

Slowly slide it

Down  
>Down<br>Down

Until it meets the top of the sheet

Then

I stop


	134. Chapter 134

SM OWNS IT ALL

I rub my thumb

Back and forth

Back and forth

I'm trying to get my words

In order

To explain this

In a way

That will make her understand

In a way

That will make her believe me

In a way

That will somehow get me back into

Her life  
>Their life<p>

'My Dad never wanted me'

Her body tenses

Under me

Back and forth  
>Back and forth<p>

'He was just too chicken shit of a man to admit it. So. He left. He didn't only leave my Mom Bella. He left me as well. I was only a little boy. And. I knew. I knew. My Dad didn't want me. I chased him down the street the day he left. I thought. I thought. That. If I ran fast enough. If I caught up with him. Then. He'd stay. But. He didn't stop. He saw me. In his rearview mirror. He saw. Me. And. He just kept driving. And. I still remember that day. Like it was yesterday. I can still see him staring at me. And. Sometimes. When I dream. I catch up to him. And. He tells me. To my face. That. He doesn't want me. And. Sometimes. In my dreams. I catch up to him. And. He tells me. To my face. That he'll never leave me. And. I couldn't do that. I couldn't chance turning into my father and hurting Masen. Like he hurt me. I couldn't someday wake up. And. Think. I can't live this life anymore. And. Leave. I couldn't be him Bella. I couldn't be my father. And. I was so scared. I was so fucking scared. That. I was going to be. And. So. I thought. I truly thought. That. If I left. If I left. Before Masen really knew me. Then. It would be worth it. But. That's the thing. It wasn't worth it. Because. I realized. Too late. Much too late. That I could never be my father. Because. I loved you both too much. To be him. But. In my head. I made myself believe that if I loved you. That if I really loved you both. Then I would leave. So. I did. And. Now. Well. Now. I'm back. And. I can't not have you both in my life.'


	135. Chapter 135

SM OWNS IT ALL

Um...WOW...It seems as though many of y'all have put down the 'I hate Edward' pitchforks! I love the reviews and the PMs...Y'all are amazing! XO

OH and a few of my new readers have told me they started reading because they saw my story rec'd...PLEASE tell me where :) I'd love to send that person a, 'Hey...you're awesome' message! OK on with the story!

She didn't say a word

I could barely feel her breathing

Below my hands

So

I told her

I told her everything

I didn't leave anything out

From here

It's her call

She knows

I'm all in

So

I sit

And

Wait

Straddling her back

On top of her

This is a bit

Awkward

To say the least

But

She continues to stay silent

So

I continue on with

My  
>Story<p> 


	136. Chapter 136

SM OWNS IT ALL

I take a deep breath

And

Start talking

'As you can probably figure out

By now

Carlisle isn't my real father

He came into my life

When I least expected

Yet

When I needed a father figure the most

He was there for me

He listened to me

He cared for me

Him and my mother started dating

Close to a year after my father left

She was so hesitant to bring another

Man into my life

Seeing as how my real father

Took everything away from me

I was a child Bella

A little boy

And

Instead of running and playing

And

Being carefree

I would sit by myself in my room

Because

I was afraid  
>I was afraid<p>

Of letting anyone in

Because

What if I did

And they left

Like he did

I was convinced it was me

That

I was the problem

And

No matter what my mom

Said  
>Or<br>Did

It wouldn't change anything

He wasn't coming back


	137. Chapter 137

SM OWNS IT ALL

Your reviews = LOVE. Here is more Edward, talking. This is what y'all wanted ;)

'My mom would come into my room

And

Hold me

And

Tell me over and over again

How proud she was of me  
>How proud she was to have me as her son<br>How proud she was to be my mom

I remember asking

Why he left

And

Why he didn't want me

I didn't understand anything

I was confused

And

I remember she pulled my head away from her shirt

Wet from tears  
>My tears<p>

And she said

'Your father loved you. He loved you'

She knew  
>She knew<p>

I was breaking

And

I didn't understand it at the time

Because

At the time I was a little boy

But

Now it all makes sense

She didn't want me to hate him

She didn't want me to hate my father

Because

She didn't want me to feel hurt and unloved

She lied

For him

To save me

And

Now

Well now

I understand her reasoning

Because

I know

I know Bell

That you would never let Masen hate me

Even if I never came back

Even if I stayed out of your lives forever

If Masen ever asked

You would have said that his father

That

I

Loved him'


	138. Chapter 138

SM OWNS IT ALL. He's still talking. Boy can't shut it ;)

'I was getting help Bell.

That's where I was.

That's where I've been.

And

That's where I went the first time I left.

But.

I couldn't stand being away

From you

Or Masen

So

I came back

And

Then

I left again

Because

I knew  
>I knew<p>

If I didn't go back

If I didn't continue to work out

All this shit in my head

Then

I'd lose you both for good

And

Well

Now

It looks like I already have'


	139. Chapter 139

SM OWNS IT ALL. Edward, shut it already.

'I should have said something when I came back

The first time

I should have told you that I was getting help

But

I was a coward

I didn't want you to think less of me

But in turn

What I did was worse

Way worse

I made you think

I didn't want you

Or

Masen

Which wasn't the case at all

And

Hopefully now you can see that

Because

I never wanted you to feel that way

I needed to get better

For you both

And

I couldn't do that here'


	140. Chapter 140

SM OWNS IT ALL. The reviews are amazing. LOVE. LOVE. He's almost done talking. I think. Yah. I think.

'That's it

That's where I've been

That's why I left

That's why I came back

You wanted the truth

I gave you the truth

I've been lying to myself

For so long

So long

And

Finally  
>Finally<p>

I can say

I'm me Bell

I'm the Edward you knew

No  
>No<p>

Screw that

I'm the Edward you know

I couldn't come back

Until I was

And

Now

I am'


	141. Chapter 141

SM OWNS IT ALL

Ok

So

I told her

I laid it all out

Now

Well

Now

I wait

And

See what

She

Has to say

But

She doesn't say

Anything

Not one word

'Bell'

Nothing

'Bella'

She turns her head

Eyes meeting mine

Over her shoulder

Shakes her head

Breathing heavy

'I have to go Edward'

But

I don't move


	142. Chapter 142

SM OWNS IT ALL. Ok. Ok. WHO. Pimped out my story. Who?! Seriously. I got 15 alerts on that last chapter. ALONE. AND. Basically. Everyone reviewed. Seriously. If you saw this story on someones website. Let me know. Please. I would like to thank them and YOU for reading :) Ok...ON WE GO.

I don't move

I won't move

'No'

She stares at me

Tears trickling down

Her cheeks

'No Bella'

She tries to get out from

Underneath me

But

I won't let her

The tears come faster

'Move Edward. MOVE. Get off me'

She's flailing her arms

Trying to push me off

Trying to push me away f

From her

Further than I already feel

But

Still

I won't move

'Please'

She sobs

'Please. I can't do this. Why did you do this. Why did you tell me'

I can barely understand her

She places her face into the pillow

Sobbing


	143. Chapter 143

SM OWNS IT ALL

I'm the reason she's crying

And

There was a time

When those tears would make me break

But

Not now

Not anymore

I hold her arms down

In an attempt to calm her

She wanted to talk

I wanted to talk

We needed this

And

Now

All of a sudden

She goes nuts

'Are you serious Bella'

She laughs into the pillow

'YES. Yes, I'm serious. I would have been fine. WE would have been fine without you Edward'

And

There it is

Those words

_They would have been fine without me_

I shake my head

She knows what she's doing

Pushing every single one of my buttons

Until I break

But

This time

Well

This time

I won't


	144. Chapter 144

SM OWNS IT ALL

I loosen my hold on her wrists

Slowly

Move to lay beside her

Her head facing the opposite direction

But

That's fine

I don't care

I don't need to see her face

I just need to touch her

I just need her to feel me

To know I'm here

To know I'm not leaving her again

'Tell me what to do Bell. Tell me what to do to make this easier for you. For Masen. And. Don't tell me to leave. Because. I won't. I can't. Tell me anything besides that'

I move her hair over her shoulder

And

Start running my fingers up and down her back

She doesn't say a word

But

She doesn't have to

I can feel her heart racing

And

All I want to do is pull her into my arms

And

Make everything better

But

I can't  
>I know I can't<p>

And

That's the hardest part


	145. Chapter 145

SM OWNS IT ALL

She's speechless

I can tell she has so much to say

But

She won't

Moving her head to the side

'I need to go pick up Masen. I told Beth I'd only be gone a few hours'

I shake my head

She can't see me

So

I speak out loud

'Of course. Of course. That's fine'

I move to get off of her

Hesitant

She doesn't move

Lays there

'If you would have came back a week earlier Edward. A week. Everything would be different'

Sighs

I know what she's doing

She's dismissing me

'I wouldn't be engaged. I wouldn't have asked Tanner to move in with us. I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have'

The tears come back

I stand still

Watching

I don't know what to say

I mean I do

I have so much to say

But

I don't

'You need to go get Masen, Bell'

And

With that

She sits up

Puts her feet over the side

Careful to keep the sheet around her body

And

Walks into the bathroom to change


	146. Chapter 146

SM OWNS IT ALL...Bella speaks ;)

I shut the door to the bathroom

It's so cold

So  
>So<br>So

Cold

The bottom of my feet are freezing

But

I don't care

I just stand here

In nothing but my panties

At least it makes me feel something

Because right now

Well

Right now it hurts to breathe

He told me everything

And

I should be happy

I should be running into his arms

But

I can't  
>I can't<br>I can't

Because

All this time  
>All this time<p>

He was lying to me

He lied

Shit

I'm not perfect

But

He made me believe

He didn't want me  
>He didn't want Masen<br>He didn't want us

But

All this time

He was getting help  
>He was getting help<p>

To come back to me  
>To Masen<br>To us

I can hear my phone ding with a message inside my purse

Hands shaking

1 new text message

Tanner


	147. Chapter 147

I saw the best post by a writer the other day. She said, 'If you don't like my story. Fine. That's fine. But as a writer on fanfic, the best thing about this whole website is that you don't have to read it. Not one word. There are thousands of stories out there so, instead of reviewing and saying you hate the story just don't write at all. I don't need to hear it. I don't want to hear it.'

I wrote to her and said that I was sorry she was getting rude feedback and that I've been fortunate to have amazing people review my story and if they don't like something they are NICE about it…

I just want you all to know that your reviews mean a lot and I try to always respond but I thought this writers post was good and so true and wanted to share…OK, onward with the tale…XO

The bathroom door opens

She steps out

Head down

Purse in one hand

Phone in the other

She holds it up

Eyes meet mine

'Tanner texted me'

I nod my head

'You have to go'

She nods back

'Ok. You have to go'

I walk toward the door

Turn around

She's still standing there

Hasn't moved

But

She starts talking

Her voice trembles

'I forgive you Edward. Honestly. I think I forgave you the moment you walked back into my life. Our life. How sad is that. How sad am I. You left me and still no matter what you do. I forgive you so easily. Maybe it's love. Maybe I've always been in love with you. Or. Maybe. Maybe. I'm crazy. So. Yes. I forgive you. And. I think it's great that you got help. But. I won't ever forget'


	148. Chapter 148

MORNING LOVES! Ok...after this chapter...we hear from Bella for a while...we all good with that? SM OWNS IT ALL

She brought her eyes to mine

Shook her head

And

Walked out the door

I didn't stop her

Not this time

She needed to go

She needed to go to Tanner

And

When she's done

She'll be back

I know she will

But

If she doesn't

Well then

I'll go to her

I won't leave again

But for now

Well now

I wait…


	149. Chapter 149

SM OWNS IT ALL

BELLA

My hands fumble inside my purse

Looking for my keys

It doesn't help that my entire body is shaking

I left

I left him

Will I go back

I'd love to say no

But

That's a lie

I know

I will

Whether it be to tell him goodbye

Or

Well

I can't think about that right now

I need to talk to Tanner

I need to see my son

I need  
>I need<p>

At this point

I don't know what I need

I find my keys

Unlock

Open door

Start the car

Reverse

And

Head home


	150. Chapter 150

SM OWNS IT ALL

I turn onto my street

Hear my phone vibrate

Again

Edward has texted me

3 times

Since

I left

3 times

I haven't checked them

Could have

While I was waiting

At the stoplight

At the stop sign

Or

Even in the parking lot

At the hotel

But

I didn't

Because

I'm a baby

A big fucking baby

And

I need to speak to Tanner

Before I speak to Edward again

Pulling into my driveway

Put the car in park

And

Head inside


	151. Chapter 151

SM OWNS IT ALL

Walking up to the door

I hear Masen's babbles from inside the house

Beth must have brought him back

Well of course she did Bella

You've been gone for hours

Opening the door

I see

Masen playing with his blocks on the floor

In the family room

While Tanner and Beth watch him from the couch

Masen must feel my presence

As his head snaps up

And

Yells

'MOMMMMA'

This gains both Tanner and Beth's attention

I smile wide

Arms out in front of him

He says

'Uppy Momma. Uppy'

I walk over to him

Pick him up

Nuzzling my face into his chin

Giggles

I start tickling him and ask

'Did you miss Momma Mase'

More giggles

And

Squirming

Then

He stops

Stares straight into my eyes

Tilts his head to the side

With his hands turned out

And asks

'Daddy gone'


	152. Chapter 152

SM OWNS IT ALL

Silence

Silence

Fills the air

Masen's bright eyes

Staring into mine

I don't say a word

Tanner does though

'Hey babe'

Respond

'Hey'

Smiling back at him

Look to Beth

'Thanks for bringing Mase back'

'No problem'

Silence

She speaks

'I'm going to head out'

Tanner stops her

Strange

'Thanks again Beth'

Smile

Blush

'You're welcome'

With

Masen on my lap

My future

My past

My present

At a hotel

10 miles away

'Bye Tanner'

She smiles

Says nothing to me

They're in their own world

A million miles away

From us

And

I

Well

I do the only thing I can do

The only thing I want to do

In that moment

I

Smile


	153. Chapter 153

SM OWNS IT ALL

His eyes follow her retreating form

To the door

She stops

Looks back

Smiles at him

Then

Me

The door opens

Closes

The sound

Snapping his face from

Where she left

Back to me

His fiancé

I smile

He smiles

But

It doesn't reach his eyes

Something is bothering him

But

I've never had a reason not to trust Tanner

He has never given me a reason

And

I'm not going to start now

It's as simple as that

He stands up

Makes his way over to us

Putting his hand on Mase's back

Mase turns his head and smiles

'Hey baby boy'

His little eyes drooping

It's past his bedtime

And

It's time for

Tanner and I

To talk

About

Things

About

Alot of things

Mase puts his head on my chest

Shuts his eyes

'I'm going to lay him down'

Tanner nods his head

And

Before I can say anything else

He beats me to it

'We need to talk Bella'


	154. Chapter 154

SM OWNS IT ALL

I place Masen in his bed

Kiss his forehead

Making sure to turn his nightlight on

As I walk out of his room

I can see Tanner sitting in the family room

The family room

Ironic

Because

It feels like mine is fixing to fall apart

His head down

Staring at something on the floor

I walk over and sit down next to him

Grabs my hand

'I can't do this anymore Bella  
>It's…<p>

He stops

Shakes his head

Looks down

Wipes his left eye

'It's killing me inside  
>I have to tell you something<br>And  
>I'm afraid…<p>

Stops

Tries again

'I'm afraid  
>That when I do<br>You'll never speak to me again  
>And<br>The truth is  
>I wouldn't blame you<br>I wouldn't blame you at all'

His grip on my hand is beginning to hurt

My lip trembles

'Tanner what's going on, you're scaring me'

He inhales

Eyes meeting mine

Tears begin to fall over

'Bella…

Voice shakes

'I knew where Edward was this whole time'

And

With those words

I know

My world has changed


	155. Chapter 155

SM OWNS IT ALL

I'm pretty certain...I surprised alot of y'all ;) which is what I wanted...SO...it was sort of perfect!

He hesitates

Looking into my eyes

I'm sure he can see the questions

Running through my mind

He takes a deep breath

And

Starts talking

'I knew

I knew Bella

I knew he was getting help

And

I didn't say anything

And

Yes

Yes

I lied to you

And

Yes

Yes

It was an awful thing to do

And

Maybe I'm a coward

But

I didn't say anything

Because

Well because

I knew

I knew

If you found out

He was getting help

For you

And

For Masen

Then that would be it

You wouldn't date me

You wouldn't care about me

You wouldn't fall in love me

There wouldn't be a we

So no

No

I don't regret lying to you

Because

At the end of the day

At the end of it all

I got you and Masen

At least

For a while'


	156. Chapter 156

SM OWNS IT ALL

Well...y'all are amazing reviewers...I'm pretty sure I have you all on the edge of your seat...which is where I want you! HEHE! XO

Speechless

No words

Staring

At a man

I once thought I knew

At a man

I once thought I loved

I love

I do love

But

These words

His words

His lies

This changes so much

No

This changes everything

And

He knows it

I can tell

By the way he is looking

At me

He used to say

My eyes were the most

Expressive

Part on my body

They

Spoke to him

They

Made him feel loved

They

Made him feel needed

They

Made him feel wanted

And

I did

But

On whose terms

His

It was all

On his terms

But

Now

Well

Now

I wonder what my eyes say


	157. Chapter 157

SM OWNS IT ALL.

'I need you to leave'

His eyes widen

'Bella. Don't do this'

'Tanner. I need time to think'

He shakes his head

No

Doesn't move

My hands are shaking

He needs to leave

Before

I say things I don't mean

Or

I say things I do mean

'LEAVE'

I shout

His eyes widen

But

He doesn't move

'LEAVE TANNER'

I can't take this

I cant take this

I trusted you. I trusted you.

I trusted you. I trusted you.

I feel him grab my hands

Snapping me out of this trance

Wake up Bella. Wake up.

'I know you did Bella. I know you did'

I didn't realize I spoke out loud

I need him to leave

I need him to get out of my sight

I feel like the entire room is closing in on me

'I will tell you everything. Everything.'

I shake my head no

It's too late

'All this time. All this time and you didn't say anything'

'Bella. I will now. I will tell you everything. No more secrets'

My eyes meet his

'Well. That's just it Tanner. I didn't know we had secrets in the first place'

I stand

Walk to the door

Open

'I won't ask again. Leave'


	158. Chapter 158

SM OWNS IT ALL

He doesn't move

'Tanner. Just leave. I need to think. I just. I need to think. Ok'

He still hasn't moved

I look up

His eyes focused

On something

Outside the front door

Turn to look

Or should I say

Someone

Outside the front door

Edward

Fuck

Before I can do anything

Before I can shut the door

Before I can scream

Edward lunges for Tanner

And

All hell breaks lose


	159. Chapter 159

SM OWNS IT ALL

It all happens so fast

I'm not even sure what I'm saying

A mixture between

'Edward. STOP'

'Tanner. STOP'

'You're going to wake Masen'

'STOP. STOP. STOP'

But

They're men

Worse

They're pissed off men

And

They're not going to listen to me anytime soon

I hear

'You knew. You fucking knew. I heard you. I heard every fucking think. You bastard. You knew. YOU KNEW'

Then Tanner

'Fuck you Edward'

Masen's screams

From upstairs

Can be heard over their shouting

Which finally makes them to stop

They both turn to look at me

Apology

On their faces

But

I don't want to hear it

I can't hear it

'Get out. Both. Of you. Just get out'

Tanner doesn't say a word

He just

Walks out the door

Edward stays

Eyes darting from me

To the staircase

'Edward. I need to take care of my son. Just go'

And

Head toward the stairs


	160. Chapter 160

SM OWNS IT ALL

Once I get outside Masen's door

I turn around

Edward stands at the end of the staircase

'Bella'

I shake my head

He knows  
>He knows<p>

I need to be alone

Why does he keep pushing me

I don't understand this

I don't' understand him

He was gone for so long

And

Now

Well

Now

He is a completely different person

Wanting to actually talk about our feelings

Get things out in the open

Well fuck you Edward

This isn't some make believe place

Where you can come in and make everything better

This is real life

And

I don't want to fucking talk right now

Opening Masen's door

I can see him standing in his crib

Tears stream down his face

His wails get louder the closer I get to him

He wants to be held

He wants to feel safe

You and I both sweet baby

You and I both

I pick him up and hold him to my chest

Swaying him from side to side

I feel him begin to relax into my arms

And

Within minutes

He is asleep

I have no idea how long I hold him

I have no idea how long I watch him sleep

But

At some point

Edward has stepped into the room

And

Put his arms around the both of us


	161. Chapter 161

SM OWNS IT ALL

In his arms

I feel safe

I feel loved

I feel happy

I feel scared

I feel overwhelmed

Am I ready for this

Am I ready to open up my heart again

To allow him to come back into my life

I already know

Without a doubt

That

He will be in Masen's life again

But do I allow him to be in mine

As more than the father to my son

I'm so confused

I have so many mixed emotions

I can feel his lips kiss the top of my head

His arms wrapped around mine

Which

Are wrapped around our son

We sway from side to side

I close my eyes

Try to get my emotions under control

'He's so beautiful. We made this Bell. We made him'

Tears threatens to spill over

With his words

I feel myself

Relax into Edward's arms

Just like Masen did with me

And

I feel

Everything


	162. Chapter 162

Um...well hello new readers :) WOWSERS! I got alot of faves and alerts over the week...XO!

SM OWNS IT ALL

I'm not certain

How long he held us

It could have been

5 minutes

It could have been

2 hours

But

What I do know

Is that

The moment is perfect

It feels perfect

Everything

Perfect

At some point

Masen fell back to sleep

I needed to put him in his crib

Our perfect moment

Would have to be broken

I looked at Edward over my left shoulder

Giving him the hint

But

To my surprise

He slowly nudged me forward

Keeping his hold on me

Around me

Around us

Carefully

I bend over to lay him down

Edward leaning over with me

He stirs for a bit

But doesn't wake up

I kiss his forehead

Lean back

And

Together

We watch him

We watch over him

It's Perfect


	163. Chapter 163

SM OWNS IT ALL

I want to say the words

I do

But

He beats me to it

'We need to talk Bell'

I nod

Agreeing with him

'I heard everything Tanner said, how did he know'

I shake my head

I have nothing to say

As

I have absolutely no idea

'Does he know my father'

Shake my head

No

'Does anyone at the hospital he works for know my father'

I have no idea

I don't respond

I have no idea what to say

I'm in shock  
>I'm upset<br>I'm confused

I feel his arms tighten around me

'We will figure this out, ok. You and I, we'll figure this out'

And

For the first time

I actually believe him

So

I say those words

Those words

I never thought I'd say to him

Again

'I trust you'


	164. Chapter 164

SM OWNS IT ALL

It feels so good

So good

To say

And

Actual believe

I can feel the goosebumps

Break out along his arms

He kisses the top of my head

'I should go'

I turn to look at him

I can see the hesitation in his face

He wants to stay

But

He knows he should leave

I know he should leave

I place my hand on the side of his face

And

Smile

'Ok. I'll walk you out'

I make sure to keep Masen's door open

That way I can check on him before heading to bed

We slowly walk down the stairs

He's walking behind me

I know  
>I know<p>

He's watching my every move

Waiting  
>Wanting<br>Wishing

I'd ask him to stay

But

I won't

And

He knows this

I get to the front door

Turn the lock

Edward puts his hand against the door

'Ask me to stay. You don't have to mean it just ask me to stay. Just say the words'

I put my head down

'I won't give you false hope Edward'

He moves his hand away from the door

To my back

'Standing here. In our home. Is all the hope I need Bell. It's more than I ever thought you'd give me. You have to understand that. But. Please. Just please. Ask me to stay. I just need to know that you still want me. I need to know that there's still a chance. For us.'


	165. Chapter 165

SM OWNS IT ALL

Ok, y'all this is Bella talking...

My entire body is shaking.

How could he do this to me.

How could he ask me to do this.

I can't.

I won't.

'No Edward. No. I won't say it. I love you. You know that. You've always known that. It's always been you. But. You ripped my heart out of my chest. Out of my chest Edward. And yes. Even though I'm embarrassed to admit it now. I would stay up late at night wishing and hoping that you'd come back to us and you never did. You never did. And now I know why. You were getting help. You were getting better for us. But. I didn't know that then and you had so many times to tell me. So many times. To I don't know. Pick up the phone. Email. Text. Write. I don't fucking care. Just anything to let me know. To let us know. That. You didn't leave us because you wanted to but because you had to. Now that. Those words. Would have changed everything. If you would have said those words. Then. The words that you need to hear so bad. Now. Right now. Would be said. But. You didn't say those words. You didn't say anything and because of that. I won't. I can't. Ask you to stay. I won't ask you to stay. And. I need you to understand that.'


	166. Chapter 166

SM OWNS IT ALL

I can feel his breath

On my neck

I refuse to back down

I refuse to let him win

This time

He moves the hair away from

My shoulder

And

Places a kiss

So  
>So<br>So  
>Soft<p>

That

I can barely feel it

But

I do

I can feel everything

One kiss  
>Another<p>

Three kisses  
>Another<p>

Lingering

Down my shoulder

'Bell'

I don't say a word

'Bella'

He whispers into my ear

'You said. Did you even realize what you just said'

I go over my words

Fuck

I said a lot of things

He chuckles softly

'Do you want help'

I shake my head yes

'You said. You said you love me'

I nod

I did. I did say that

Because

Well

Because

I do

He knows I do

I'm not fooling anyone

Least of all

Myself


	167. Chapter 167

SM OWNS IT ALL

'I'm going to leave now. I'm going to walk out that door. Because. I know. I know. If I stay. Well. If I stay. Then. I'll never leave again. Not that I am Bell. You should know that by now. But. What I mean is. Tonight. From this moment. I need to leave. Otherwise. I won't be held accountable for fucking you against this wall'

He places his hand over mind

And

Turns the door handle

I don't look at him

I don't know what to say

Liar

I won't look at him

Because

I know if I look at him

I'll

Well

I'll

Fuck

I don't know what I'll do

So

I keep my head down

I see his feet step outside the door

Stops

And

Says

'I won't be back here until I have answers. I'm going to find out how the fuck he knew. I promise baby. I promise. I'll get us answers'

And

With that he walks away

And

I shut the door


	168. Chapter 168

SM OWNS IT ALL

After he leaves

I sit on the couch

And

Stare at the television

The television

That is on mute

I've done nothing

Nothing

But

Think

And

Try to figure out

What's been going on

Did Tanner lie

This whole time

About loving me  
>About loving Masen<br>About everything

I get that he was scared

I get that he was afraid

I would never move forward with him

If I found out the real reason why Edward left

But

Doesn't that seem

I don't know

A bit

Controlling  
>And<br>Egotistical

After hours of sitting here

I've realized

It was never about me  
>It was never about Masen<br>It was never about Edward  
>It was about Tanner<p>

It was always and will always

Be about Tanner

He made me believe a lie

This whole time

He made me believe a lie

He may not have told me the lie

But

He sure as shit didn't tell me the truth

And

That hurts worse than anything


	169. Chapter 169

SM OWNS IT ALL

Beth

Beth

Beth

She knew

It was Beth

And

Apparently

To make matters worse

I knew her

Not directly

But

My mother did

My mother knew her

Knows her

And

Apparently she found out

From her mother

Who is best friends

With

My moms best friend

Fuck

My head hurts just thinking

But it doesn't matter

Fuck  
>Fuck<br>Fuck

This is confusing

What matters

Is why

Why would Beth tell Tanner

Why would they talk about

Me

About my life

With Bella  
>With Masen<br>With my family

One thing I know for sure

Is that I will find out


	170. Chapter 170

SM OWNS IT ALL

Ring  
>Ring<p>

Nothing

Ring  
>Ring<p>

Nothing

Voicemail

'You've reached Beth. Please leave a message'

Perfect

'Hey Beth. It's Edward. Who knew. I sure as shit didn't. But. Apparently. You did. And. Apparently. You know me. Or. Pretend to know some aspect of my life. Anyways. Would you mind giving me a call back. I'd love to chat about some things. More importantly. Things you said. Lies you told. I could go on. But. I won't. Oh. And. I'd leave you my number. But. No need. You can just get it from your mother'

Hang up

Wait


	171. Chapter 171

SM OWNS IT ALL

Not 5 minutes later

My phone rings

Vibrates along the table

Before I grab it

Don't recognize the number

So

Obviously

It's Beth

Pick up

'Hello'

'Um. Edward. It's uh. It's Beth'

I force myself not to bark out a laugh

No shit

Is it

Is it you Beth

Give me a break

My silence speaks volumes

'Edward. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I told Tanner. I'm sure you have a lot of questions for me'

I interrupt

'I want to meet. Face to face. Not over the phone. The coffee shop downtown in 15 minutes. Will that work'

She doesn't hesitate

'Yes'


	172. Chapter 172

SM OWNS IT ALL

She's there when I arrive

Sitting in the back

Away from the front door

Away from prying eyes

She's nervous

I can tell

And

We haven't even spoke

I walk toward her

We watch each other the entire time

Unintentionally

Playing a ridiculous game

Of cat and mouse

But

In this case

Who wins

Maybe no one

Because

In a way

I've already lost

I sit down

Grab the menu

Ask

'So. Can I buy you a coffee'


	173. Chapter 173

SM OWNS IT ALL

I look up from the menu

Beth's eyes on mine

'You have no idea who I am'

Uh.

This catches my attention.

'I'm sorry. What did you ask me'

She laughs

Loudly

People in the coffee shop turn to look at us

Her smile creeps me the fuck out

It's plastered on her face

While she stares at me

'I said. You have no idea who I am. Do you'

I can only imagine what I look like

Mouth agape

'Should I know you'

She starts whispering

To herself

But

Loud enough for me to hear

'All this time. All this fucking time. Wasted. I befriended her. Watched after her kid. Because he said. He said. That. If we kept it a secret. She'd never take him back. And. If she never took him back. Then. He'd stay away. And. I'd finally get my chance. But. Fuck. Here you are. And. You have no idea who I am. How long I've been in love with you. From afar. Obviously. But. Still. It doesn't hurt any less. And. Fucking Tanner. I believed everything he said. I can't believe this. I can't believe this'

She looks up

Tears brimming

'I'm sorry Edward. I'm so sorry'

Who the hell is this girl


	174. Chapter 174

SM OWNS IT ALL

I need to go

Kick back my chair

Stand up

She grabs my arm

'Wait. Wait don't go. Stay. Please. Stay'

'Do you even hear yourself right now. I have no idea who the hell you are and you're telling me that you and Tanner worked together to keep me out of my child's life. Seriously. You are fucked up in the head. You need to let go of my arm and stay out of my life. How do you even know anything about me. I know our Mother's know each other through mutual friends but seriously. I've never even seen you before in my life'

She bows her head

Picking at the nail polish on her fingers

'I saw your photo once. You had on a tuxedo. In the picture it looked like you had just come home. You were walking through the front door with the biggest smile on your face. You looked so happy. And. I remember thinking. I want this guy. I need this guy. In my life'

I stare at her

'When was this'

She looks up to the ceiling

Probably trying to think back to the time this took place

'It was when I was a senior in high school. We're the same age. So'

I smile

Remembering back to that night

Smirk in place

'That was from Prom. It was the night I stole Bella away from her boyfriend. It was also the night we made our relationship official. Don't you see Beth. My smile in the photo was there. Because. That night. Bella. Became mine. I was always hers. From the moment I first saw her. She always had my heart. And. That night. That night. She gave me hers'


	175. Chapter 175

SM OWNS IT ALL

Also...what are y'all reading...give me recs :) XOXO!

Lift my hand

Make a fist

*Knock*  
>*Knock*<p>

Door opens slightly

He's on the phone

Back to the door

He didn't hear me

Perfect

Yells into the phone

'What the fuck do you mean you told him'  
>Silence<p>

The other person is talking

Stands up

Knocking his chair over in the process

It slams to the ground

'I can't fucking believe you. Fix this. Fix it Beth'

Hangs up

Then

Throws his cell against the wall

I can feel his anger

He's pissed

But

He hasn't seen shit yet

'Tanner. Is everything ok'

I turn to see a nurse peek her head in

He doesn't turn around

'Not now Sara'

She looks to me

Nods her head

Then

Leaves

I slam the door behind her

'Damn it Sara. I said not kn…'

He turns around

Eyes wide

Locked on mine

'Hey Tanner'

Grin

'We need to talk'


	176. Chapter 176

SM OWNS IT ALL

ALSO...thanks for all the Recs! XOXO

'Get the fuck out of my office Edward'

Not gonna happen

'I don't think you heard me. We need to talk. Sit your ass down. Before. I do it for you'

Neither of us say a word

Instead

We choose to watch each other

As

There is no way in hell he is leaving this office

Without us talking first

I nod my head to his chair

Shakes his head

Stays standing

Move toward him

He grabs his chair

I can imagine the fury in my eyes

'Ok. Ok. Fuck. I'll sit'

He motions with his hand to take the seat across from his desk

I shake my head

'I'll stand. This won't take long'

He exhales

Loudly

'Who was on the phone Tanner'

Eyes on mine

Testing me

Seeing if he can get away

With another lie

'Was it Beth. You know what. Don't answer that. I already know the answer. So. What did she have to say. Anything good. She sure as shit had a lot to tell me this morning. A whole lot'

I can hear the grinding of his teeth

His hands are balled into fists on his desk

'She told me everything Tanner. Everything. All the lies. Everything you promised her. And. Now. Well. Now. I haven't decided what I'm going to do. Whether. I'm going to tell Bella what a lying piece of shit you are. Or. If I'm going to have you do it. What do you think Tanner. Do you want to. Or should I'


	177. Chapter 177

SM OWNS IT ALL

'What'

Confusion written across his face

What exactly is he confused about

'Let me break it down for you. Since. You seem to be confused. Either you tell her you've been lying or I do. It's your choice. But. It happens today'

He shakes his head

Looks down

'I can't tell her Edward. You have no idea. No idea. I'll lose her. I can't lose her'

Who is this guy

Slam my hands on his desk

'No idea? You say I have no idea?! I have a pretty good fucking idea how it feels. I've lived it. I've lived without her. Without my family. I was getting better for them. To be a better man for them. And. While I'm away. You create this lie. And. What. You just never thought I'd find out. Or better yet. You never thought Bella would find out but I did and now. She will'

I hand over my cell

Lay it on his desk

'I'll say it one last fucking time Tanner. Call her. Or. I will'

He looks up at me

Reaches for the phone

And

Begins dialing


	178. Chapter 178

SM OWNS IT ALL

He stops

Puts my cell down

Looks up

'I can't do it. I won't'

Shake my head

'I'm not playing games anymore Tanner. If you don't tell her. I will. It's as simple as that. But. Don't make me do this. She needs to hear it from you. If you want a chance to tell her your side of the story. She needs to hear it from you'

He stares me in the eye

Checking to see if I'm serious

Checking to see if I'll break her heart

For him

I will

But

Not for him

But

For her

She deserves to know the truth

'I need time'

Shake my head

'I won't give you that. Beth knows I know. And. She may have already gone to Bella. Who knows'

His eyes flick to the right

'Beth wouldn't do that. I told her not to'

Figures

'Tell me this. Does Beth do everything you tell her not to. Because. It sounds to me like you both deserve each other'

He sighs

Runs his fingers through his hair

Looks back to me

'I'm not going to do it over the phone Edward. I'll go over there. But. I'm not doing it over the phone'

Fair enough

I move back toward the door

Open

'Well. no time like the present. I'll follow you'

He grabs his coat

And

Together

We head to Bella


	179. Chapter 179

SM OWNS IT ALL

*Ring*  
>*Ring*<br>….

*Ring*  
>*Ring*<p>

'Pick up. Pick up. Pick up'

*Ring*  
>*Ring*<p>

'You've reached Bella. I'm not here rig-'

Slam my hands against the wheel

Where is she

I'm behind Tanner

Following him to the house

Our house

Calling Bella in the process

To give her a heads up

To let her know Tanner needs to speak to her

That

I need to speak to her

But

She won't pick up

We're only a few blocks away when

My cell rings

I don't even look at the caller id

I just know

'Bella'

'Edward. Sorry. Masen woke up from his nap. What's up'

I have about 10 seconds to tell her

'Bella. Listen to me. I got answers. I got a lot of answers. Tanner and I are on our way to the house. Is Masen awake'

Silence

'Bella'

'Edward. What's going on. You're scaring me'

'Bella. Listen to me. Is Masen awake. Yes or no'

'Yes but I can call Beth to come over and watch him'

The irony in that statement

'No. Don't do that. Just. When we get there. Tanner needs to speak to you. I'll watch Masen. While you speak to him'

'Is everything ok Edward'

I smile

'It will be Bell. It will be'

I pull into the driveway

'Open the door baby. We're outside'


	180. Chapter 180

SM OWNS IT ALL

Bella is standing at the door

Masen on her hip

He's chewing on a toy

Then

He sees me through the car window

And

His entire face lights up

I haven't gotten out of my car yet

Waiting on Tanner

Who is still in his car

Staring at the two most important people

In my life

Who

Were

Who are

The most important people in his life as well

And

Just because he lied

Just because he withheld the truth

Doesn't mean he loves them any less

It just means

That

He got caught

And

Now

Well now

He has to come clean

No matter how much it may hurt

With that

He opens the car door

And

Steps out

I do the same

And

Follow him to the front door

Bella's eyes flick between

Both

His and mine

Questions

So

Many

Questions

Are written across her face

Masen starts giggling when Tanner gets close

I can tell

By the way Tanner is walking

Hunched over

Trying to keep his emotions in check

That

This is going to be hard

For everyone


	181. Chapter 181

SM OWNS IT ALL

Bella is staring at me

Over Tanner's shoulder

Masen is cooing in her arms

Reaching out

Trying to get my attention

I step around Tanner

And

Reach for him

Kissing his cheeks in the process

Making him giggle

I look at Tanner

Give him a nod

He looks to Bella

'Can we talk'

She doesn't say anything

Looks from Tanner

Back

To me

She is so confused

I don't blame her

'I'm just going to take Masen upstairs to play. If you need anything just shout for me. Ok'

I stare into her eyes

Trying to make her understand

That

She is ok

I can see the hesitation

'Listen to him Bella. He has answers'

Her eyes light up

With understanding

Then

She turns to Tanner

And says

'Yes'


	182. Chapter 182

SM OWNS IT ALL

I leave Tanner and Bella

To talk

In the entry way of the house

While

Masen and I head upstairs

He is too busy grabbing

At my face

And

My hair

To understand

The importance of this moment

'Dada'

I look at him

Smile

He grins

Perfect little teeth on display

'Yes. Mase Man'

'DADA'

He yells louder

Goodness

How is it possible to love

Someone

So

Much

To live and breathe for someone

And

I'm lucky enough

To have two someone's in my life

My sweet baby boy

We head to his room

Toys line

The walls

Tumbling out of his toy box

I put him down

And

He waddles over to the ball on his floor

Holding it up

'DADA BALL'

Then

Throws it up into the air

I jump for it

Landing on my stomach

Making him giggle

He jumps on my back in the process

And

I start tickling him

His giggles fill the air

This moment

Is perfect

Everything

Is perfect

And

Then

I hear her yell

From

The bottom of the stairs

'EDWARD'

Masen's eyes widen

I smile

To calm his quivering lip

'You want to go see Momma'

Smile

'Momma. MOMMA'

I pick him up

And

Head to Bella


	183. Chapter 183

SM OWNS IT ALL

Ok, loves...this is it for tonight :)

Masen and I head down the stairs

He is oblivious to everything around him

I, however

Am not

Bella is standing at the bottom of the stairs

Hands on her hips

Pissed

Tanner is sitting on the couch

In the living room

Head in his hands

'Would you like to tell me what's going on. Please. He won't say a word'

She points at Tanner

'He just keeps shaking his head back and forth. And. I'm a bit weirded out. You tell me you found answers. But. He won't give them to me. So. If you know. Then. Tell me. Please. Just tell me'

I look back to Tanner

He refuses to looks up

He is a coward

He won't come clean

I should have figured

He's kept it a secret

He's kept it a lie

For this long

So

Why  
>Why<p>

Would I think

He'd actually want to explain

Everything

To her now

'MOMMA'

Masen squeals from my arms

Waving like crazy

She starts kissing his chubbby little hand

Which causes him to giggle

And

Makes her smile

She reaches for her phone

'I'm going to call Beth. Have her come pick him up. And. Then. I want some answers'

She starts to dial

But

I grab her phone

Eyes wide

'What are you doing Edward'

Shake my head

No times like the present

'You can't call her. She's been lying to you. They've both been lying to you'

'What are you talking about Edward'

I look to Tanner

His head still in his hands

'Tanner and Beth. They have been lying to you'

Her hand reaches up to cover her mouth

'About what exactly'

I shake my head

I shouldn't have to be the one doing this

'Everything Bell. Everything'


	184. Chapter 184

SM OWNS IT ALL

'Edward. You're scaring me. What do you mean they lied to me about everything. How could this be possible. You don't even know Tanner'

I stare at her

Trying to formulate all of the thoughts in my head

How do I tell her the truth

Without breaking her heart

'You're right baby. I don't know him. But. He sure as shit knows all about me. And. He kept that from you'

She shakes her head

I continue

'Beth knows my Mom. Not my Mom directly. But her Mom knows my Mom. And. She found out where I was. She found out I was getting better for you and Masen. I was getting better. To come back to our family'

Shakes her head

Eyes wide

She tries to speak

But

Can't

Tanner chooses this moment to speak up

'It's true Bella'

A sob breaks from her mouth

He stands up

And

Walks toward us

Stops in front of her

'I knew where Edward was this whole time. But. I didn't tell you. I kept it to myself. Because. I thought. I thought. If I could make you fall in love with me. Then. I could keep you. I could keep Masen. And. When he came back. You wouldn't need him. But. I was only fooling myself. Because. When he did in fact come back. You still chose him. And. You can say that's not true. But. It is. Ever since he walked back into your life. He's been here (he places his hand over his heart). And. Here. (he places his hand to his temple). And. No matter how hard I tried. He wouldn't go away'

He stops speaking

Said it all

Everything

But

She chooses not to say a word

Grabs Masen from my arms

And

Heads up the stairs

Before she reaches the top

She turns around

Looks Tanner in the eye

Says

'Get out of our house. And. Never come back'


	185. Chapter 185

SM OWNS IT ALL

I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS :) I have tried to respond to everyone :)

Tanner looks to me

Shakes his head

And

Walks toward the door

I stop him

Place my hand on his shoulder

'You did the right thing'

'How can you say that. I tried to ruin your life'

Shake my head

'Tried being the key word Tanner. You tried. But. You didn't succeed'

His hand reaches for the door

Opens

And

Walks out

I hope

And

I pray

That

This will be the last time we see

Tanner

But

I highly doubt

That

Will be the case


	186. Chapter 186

SM OWNS IT ALL

Hey All! I know I have been updating like crazy but I wanted to get a bunch of chapters to you all (one review said, 'THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER' you all are hilarious ;)

However, with that said this is the last chapter that will be posted until the first of the year BUT there is no cliffie...just LOVE :) XOXO

The door shuts

Knocking me out of my haze

I look toward the top of the stairs

Empty

Bella must have taken Masen into his room

I slowly make my way to the staircase

Climbing each step

One at a time

I can hear their laughter

Radiating from the room

I stand outside the door

Careful not to make a sound

I want to watch

Her

Him

My family

I want to watch

This moment

But

Masen sees me over his Mom's shoulder

Lifts his little hand

And

Waves

'DADA'

Then

Starts clapping

I walk over

Sit down next to him

He hands me his blocks

And

One by one

We start building things

What we're building

Who knows

Who cares

He is happy

I am happy

We are finally happy

Out of the corner of my eye

I see

Bella reach for some blocks

Her hand brushes against mine

And

Together

We

Build

No

We

Rebuild

Our story

Our life

Our

Happiness

And

This time

We decide

To leave out

All

The

What Ifs


	187. Chapter 187

SM OWNS IT ALL

OK...LOVES! This is it...this is the final chapter. I could keep this story going for a thousand more chapters BUT at some point, you have to stop and this is where I planned to end it...from the very beginning!

OHHH, ALSO I am fixing to post the first 6 chapters to my new story 'Decisions' SO if you want...head over there and check it out...READ the AN...PLEASE! Happy New Year's Eve...XOXO!

_**1 year later**_

_****_'DADA wook...wook'

I turn around quickly

To make sure everything is ok

Masen is in his carseat

Pointing at something

He saw outside his window

This is what he does now

He notices

EVERYTHING

Which

Makes it hard

For Bella and I

To get away with much

But

We don't mind

He's happy

And

That

Makes everything

Perfect

It's been a year

One full year

Since

I came back

For her

For him

For

My family

*Ring*

*Ring*

'Hewwooooo'

Is Masen's response

See

I told you

He pays attention to everything

Smile at him in the rearview mirror

Then

Press the button

On my steering wheel

Which answers the phone

'Hey baby'

'Where are my boys'

Before

I can answer

Masen takes it upon himself

'MAMMMMMMA! Daddy it's Mama'

I laugh

He starts looking around the car

He hasn't quite grasped the concept of the speaker phone

'You're right bud. It is Momma. Hey baby, we're fixing to turn down our street. Are you ready?'

'YES! I've been ready!'

I can hear the excitement in her voice

Her answer

'I've been ready'

Has a much deeper meaning

As

This is the first time

We've taken Masen

With us

'We are about to pull in so go ahead and come outside'

She doesn't answer

And

I understand why as

She's standing on the front porch

Waiting

For us

Her boys

Masen starts yelling MAMA

Once I put the car in park

I roll down his window

And

Bella heads to to the backseat

Leaning in and kissing him on the face

'Are you ready to go baby boy'

He nods his head

'GO GO GO'

She looks at me

And

Smiles

That

Smile

My smile

Opens the door

Leans over

And

Places a soft kiss on my lips

We hear Masen's claps in the backseat

And

Smile against each other's lips

It's perfect

A perfect moment

I grab her hand

Placing it into my lap

'Are you ready Bell'

No hesitation

'With you. Always'

Then

Together

_As a family_

We head to our place

To sit by

Our tree

Oh and she doesn't know it yet

But

I have something to give her

Something

I had with me when I came back

A year ago

But

It wasn't the right time then

But

It is the right time now

Something

That

Will make her mine forever

Something

That

Will give her my last name

Bella Cullen

It has a nice _ring_ to it

Don't you think

She squeezes my hand

Bringing me back to the present

'What are you thinking about over there Edward'

I squeeze back

'You. It's always been you'

_**The End**_


End file.
